Holiday money bonanza
Some friends of the family went on holiday to some shitty ex-pat infested spanish island. Early into their two weeks away they were having dinner at a local eatery. For some reason or other she looks down at the floor, only to spot a huge wad of money on the ground by her foot. The husband was alerted to the presence of the money and they then discussed what to do with it.

I don't know whether they considered doing the honest thing like handing it in to the authorities or asking around if any of their fellow holidaymakers had lost anything. No. They decided they were going to keep it, and spunk it up the wall as soon as possible.

The money lasted two days of excursions, expensive meals and a shitload of booze and when it ran out they simply went to locate their money pile in their hotel room. Which they couldn't find.

They couldn't find their money because it turns out the large wad of cash that they found and pissed up the wall was actually their own money. They then spent the next week living off the remains of what little food they had left and the generosity of their fellow travellers (who they were previously happy to rip off).

It mystifies me how they didn't recognise their own cash; this story is so full of fail that it always raises a laugh when my dad retells it. The couple in question are one of those sorts that used to visit unannounced on Sunday afternoon, blag a tea off us (which Mum always struggled to put together, this was the early eighties - shops open on Sundays, are you having a laugh?), leave fag ash all over the lounge floor and shout "bllaaaahhhhddy 'ellll!" at Antiques Roadshow every five minutes.

Was this theft? Not really sure...length? Not too long, he died of skin cancer about ten years ago. One quackish 'cure' that he had heard of was to rub WD40 all over himself, honestly you could smell then before you saw them.
(mersault, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 13:08, 4 replies)

Haha!
Pillocks.
( .Yeti., Fri 8 Nov 2013, 14:06, closed)

I want this to be true.
It does sound a little anecdotal though.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 18:24, closed)

It's an old old old urban legend.
Seriously. The first version of this story that I heard, the wad of cash was two five pound notes.
(comedy bully grrrr, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 18:56, closed)

It's a massive lie
He died of skin cancer 7 years and three months ago. The subject came up in conversation with my 'rents this weekend.
(mersault, Mon 11 Nov 2013, 12:47, closed)