Pow. Right in the kisser.
I've mentioned this story before on a QOTW ages ago, but I'm retelling it because it still amuses me years on.

It's 1990, me and two friends are tooling around North America in a clapped out and ancient Audi, sleeping in an even more clapped out and ancient canvas tent. It was a two-man tent. Three people were just possible, if you slept top-to-tail and didn't move. At all.

I'd drawn the short straw of the double-feet end, with my head at the closed end of the tent. We'd been warned about keeping food in our tent, about how it attracts big bad furry animals, but the car had been broken into the week before and we weren't having our Doll noodle stash nicked again, so I had all the food down my end too.

So there we were sleeping off an evening beers, camping halfway up a mountain in Canada, just where Sculley gets abducted by aliens in The X Files in fact, when I'm raised to a semi-conscious state by movement by my head. With a groggy "awww fuck off" I swat at the movement. I make a suprisingly solid contact with something warm, furry and slightly wet. There's a yelp.

Instantly all three of us are more awake and more sober than we've even been at 3am. There's a 2ft rip in the end of the tent. Outside, down the slope in the moonlight is a dazed looking racoon.

I think it's the only fight I've ever won.
( chthonic, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 18:06, 3 replies)

And I bet he had two black eyes to prove it!

( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 19:35, closed)

I'm gonna tell PETA on you
Pam Anderson will come rape you.

Hope you're happy...
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 23:35, closed)

You punched a raccoon?
That's awesome.
( Bats, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 8:02, closed)