The most cash I've ever carriedThere's nothing like carrying large amounts of cash to make yourself feel simultaneously like a lottery winner and an obvious target.
A friend went to buy a car for ten grand, panicked and stuffed it down his pants for safety. It was all a bit smelly by the time he got there and he had to search around for some of it...
Tell us the story behind the most cash you've ever carried.
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chthonic, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 10:39)
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Aldi Carrier Bag - ClassySome years ago I was selling expensive German cars in a certain Northern city. To say our client base was 'mixed' would be an understatement: we had footballers, freelance pharmaceutical retailers, ODCs (Ordinary Decent Criminals) and even (no, please....) lawyers in on a regular basis.
One regular proposed that he would purchase one of my nice shiny large expensive vehicles. Method of payment? Another large expensive vehicle that he had 'repossessed' in payment of a debt from another 'local businessman'. This was to be sold to a garage down the road who allegedly weren't that fussy about paperwork allegedly, and they would give a nice clean bankers draft to me. Sorted.
Until said other dealer comes belting into carpark and lobs Aldi carrier bag at my salesman, and heads over the horizon sharpish. A nice gift thinks I? A bottle to say ta for the service?
Nah. £35000 in mixed cash.£35 sodding grand of possible well dodgy origin. Mixed in denomination, English Scottish and Northern Irish. Arse. Our cash limit? £5000. Double Arse. Who gets to count it shut in an office with two VERY big bad mothers? And was I going to tell them that they were £80 down? Guess. My response to the boss when he gently enquired as to why the fuck I had taken said wonga: "You go in and fucking tell him". Declined with thanks.
And the bank, ever vigilant about big wads of cash? Didn't blink an eyelid when I turned up with case exploding with readies. Not a bloody word said. After being forced to take it on my own because officially it never happened, and having to park fucking miles away. I even seriously considered removing the strictly ornamental (cough) handcuffs from the bedpost (cough) to chain the fucker to my wrist but decided that getting mugged/stabbed for the cash would be bad enough but in that area they'd probably chew my arm off anyway.
Disclaimer: This all happened ages before the money laundering regulations came in, honest. And he's dead now anyway. And it's not true. IT NEVER HAPPENED, OFFICER/ M'LUD.
Note: would be more interesting if I could give all the details but I like walking. As such, it's boring but long. Story of my life.
First post from long time lurker
(, Thu 22 Jun 2006, 12:08, Reply)
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