Only semi-relevant, but thems the breaks.
Went to a certain little computer game shop a couple of months back. Headed straight for the little bargain binesque area being a bit of a cheapskate. So yeah, as I arrived in the queue I noticed the chappy in front of me paying for some console or something with a few fifty pound notes. The sexy checkout lady then started getting all flirty with him, saying things to the effect of

"Ooh, you don't see many fifty pound notes around here. Get Mr. Bigshot. Teehee" and rubbing the notes on her pert breasts.

Well no. But you know.

ANYWAY.

After that display I felt like a bit of a dick paying for a sold out software edition of Dungeon Keeper 2 with a jar of pennies.

And she wouldn't accept them either.

Bitch.
(giantbones, Thu 29 Jun 2006, 2:08, Reply)

fun fun fun
Mine's not really that unique, work at cancer reasearch uk made me walk down Wood Green High Road with thousands of pounds of cash on me to the bank right next to where a shop assistant the same age as me had been stabbed the day before. Pretty much nearly passed out with nervousness!
(froffee, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 23:54, Reply)

Temporary Paradise
When I was working as a paperboy, when I was around... nine?... I somehow got the idea to cross the street to the 'fellow paper guy's' route to say hello and... after seeing one $100 bill just lying there in the gutter, after getting that initial 'whatthefuckwhooboywhaddoIdowithitisitreallymine' rush, I looked up to see... a whole street strewed with cash. Too bad I was too young to have an orgasm.

Downer of the story: The 'fellow paper guy' found the guy's wallet further down the street. Seems he left it on the top of his car when he drove off after repairing it. He got most of it back. Before that happened, I got a new walkman. Consider it commission.
(Josefu, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 22:44, Reply)

Offer
My name is Ade Akenbyuyle, I'm from Zimbabwe. This is not one of those scams as per my African brothers in Nigeria - I promise you.

I can't offer you cash to carry in your pocket, but I can offer you £870,000 that I would like for you to have resting in your accounts for a little while. All I need is £3000 to cover legal fees.

This is totally honest my bretheren.

(Is this a crap QOTW or is it just me?)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 21:53, Reply)

During the 1950's I worked as a rent boy in the American South.
A number of then up and coming country singers were my 'clients'.

During this time the most Cash I handled was about 8 inches.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 21:45, Reply)

well
one of my good pals forgot my birthday, so I turned up to his telling him I had seen a perfect present for him, but I simply kept driving. And it wasnt even that I was short of money, as I pulled £400 in cash out of my wallet, as I had just been paid. Huzaa for me.
( HelloIamAdam and Adam is my name, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 21:14, Reply)

The most cash...
Every year, my schhol's bands and chirs go to Hershey Park to compete. It costs about 250 dollars, or so. My mum sent me to school, with a check for half of it tucked into the front of my agenda. Not very much, but I'm a broke american teen!
( Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 18:04, Reply)

Not me but...
There was a huge banking scandal in Austria (BAWAG sank some money - only 3 billion euros, nothing to worry about - in the Caribbean).

Somehow, some customers did worry and reacted by transferring there money to other banks.

One elderly couple withdrew 200.000 Euros, put it in a plastic bag, left the bank, and got mugged after 10 meters.


OK, it wasn't me (I never have more than 50 euros in my purse, probably because I don't have much more...) - but it's my first post and I want you all to click this "I like this" link!
(squeechie, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 16:03, Reply)

20 billion
Yes, it was worth fukc all in real life money. My grandma (god rest her soul) had saved some of those wartime foodstamps and some german currency from the second world war and later gave it to me. There was one banknote worth 20.000.000.000 reichsmark.
During the last months of the war just enough to buy a loaf of bread and maybe a couple of eggs.
(Bokbiertrol, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 13:19, Reply)

About 1/2 oz
but it all got smoked.

What?....
(Minty Hit, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 11:00, Reply)

I work in a bank...
And the most cash I have carried is $600k AUD ('bout 250,000 quid). Helping a chick take the cash to the ATM. My life is so mundane yet so obscure.
But, the MOST cash I have carried is $1200 in 20c pieces.
A colleague gave herself a prolapse of the arse (she is a very dainty, rather beautiful young lass so it was was all the more cruel) through those sacks of bloody coin. Bring on virtual money I say! May AmEx live long and large!
We can all quite happily find other jobs...it's shit being nice to people who want to peel your skin off and douse you in fresh urine.
Do I win? On the money stakes I mean. Do I get a meat platter?
(spida, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 10:43, Reply)

$530, 000
Unfortunately they were Rwandan dollars and amounted to about £2.34.
(MVP , cricking peoples necks since 1976, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 9:43, Reply)

The most amount of Cash I will ever carry is $15,000,000.00.
It was pure chance, destiny, star alignment, call it what you will. I was there one dull overcast Monday morning opening my email, and there I saw it, an offer I couldn't refuse. Albert Fred from Nigeria had gone through so much. He opened up to me as if he'd known me forever. He knew I was trustworthy, but when I pushed him on this he wouldn't say how he knew. Not only had his Sister, Aunt and Cousins been killed in a terrible Air Crash but his Mother and father two months ago had dropped dead. This man still found it in him to write to me amidst all his emotional trauma. What bad luck could bestow one individual. Now he was alone in Nigeria, with no family and none he trusted. The least I could do for him was to set up an Off Shore account and pretend to The Central Nigerian Bank to be a distant relative so that he could get hold of his inheritance. .Another coincidence was that Albert worked In The Central Nigerian Bank. I only found this out when I compared the Email addresses. Bless him, he wasn't going to tell me, I think he was embarrassed. Considering he had an education his punctuation and pigeon English was dismal. I looked up ticket cost on priceline.com for a round-trip flight from London to Nigeria. I really thought I could do with a holiday, and combining a bit of business would be fun.

So, 30% for me and 60% to him with 10% VAT. Trouble is I hadn't reckoned on the cost of all the legal documents amounting too $4000.00 up front. We swapped photos. Albert, I must say looked a bit of a catch. If he could lend me the $4000.00 for the legalities I would doubly pay him back when I had the $4.5 million.

So far Albert has stalled on this arrangement.

Albert I'm sure will apologise for length.
(maggied Riding the Gravy Train on, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 9:25, Reply)

Barclay's Bank
Most cash I've ever carried was only about 5 grand and I didnt have to carry it very far. I was banking with Barclay's at the time and they were messing me about something rotten and charging me for everything possible. So I strolled into my branch, told them what I thought of them, closed my account, took all the cash out and walked next door to a building society and opened a new account and payed in the cash. Simple.
( surfpunk 's not dead, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 7:27, Reply)

quarters
i was at a gas station and was a bit low on small bills, so i walked up to the cashier

i handed him a 20, and asked for it back in small change

he turns on heel, walks into the backroom, and 5 minutes later gives me a bag weighing about 5 or 6 pounds
i look inside and see it filled with quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies, a few hundred coins in all

he refused repeatedly to take it back and give me cash, so i had to go to the supermarket nearby and make a fool of myself pouring a big as fuck bag of change into the machine to get $20 in bills
(spriterman, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 5:46, Reply)

When i had money- those were the days
I once had about two thousand of your english sterling quids on me, in a tesco bag, i wandered the streets of Birmingham to get to St Andrews to buy two season tickets- wish i'd been bloody mugged.
(bobthebluenose, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 2:43, Reply)

Well..
The largest ammount of cash I've held was around £53 Million or so in Tonbridge when we stol..................wait.......
(Ledger, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 2:01, Reply)

Worrying
After being out one night I went to a lock-in at a pub where my friend was the only bar staff for the night.

I went to microwave some Doritos, as you do, and found they were using the microwave as a safe and there was hundreds of pounds in bundles of notes in there.

I had to balance the bundles in my drunken arms whilst proceeding to burn the Doritos, almost set off the fire alarm, before chucking all the bundles back in the 'safe'.

Incidently I dropped the plate of Doritos on the floor, so my efforts were in vain :(

Good times, good times.
(rudedoodle smug bucket, Wed 28 Jun 2006, 1:43, Reply)

job
I have to put any notes over £20 in a counter cache at work. Onlu a certain amount of other notes in the till at one time etc etc. i'm not good at doing this so at some times i have £200 of notes in my hand. the temptation to thow it in the air and shout mooooney is very strong. . .

Young enterprise. the old MD was a shite and paid me £81 in silver change. and a pound coin.

he owes us £100+ tho so anyone in Guildford fancy helping me beat him up for it?
(/lurks], Tue 27 Jun 2006, 22:57, Reply)

Money
I have a child - I have no cash....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 22:34, Reply)

I used to work as a bank teller
My first job out of high school 12 years ago was as a bank teller for the Commonwealth Bank here in oz. I hated it, having to deal with customers etc and left after a few months. One of my duties was the accept the weekly cash supply in from the Reserve Bank (banks give out more withdrawals than deposits received, so a cash supply is always needed). The cash was always in a bag about the size of a sports bag. I was disaponted to find that this bag carried around half a million dollars in cash. On the ads on the tv for the lottery they show a person winning a million dollars and having to drive the winnings away in a massive semi trailer truck full of cash. In reality a small wheelbarrow would be more than sufficient for all the winnings.
(king_crud, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 20:43, Reply)

A while back
I worked for a truly loopy man in East Grinstead, surveying his house and drawing up plans for replacing part of it. It was a big, old country house. He did tours for coach parties.

He paid me out of the change he got from the tours. £100 a week, in small change, in a sock. Yes. A sock.

Ok, so not the most money I've ever carried, but great fun to go down to the pub with. He used to make me give the sock back too.
( chthonic, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 20:32, Reply)

The most cash I've ever carried
at one time would be about £200,000 all in £50 notes


I only carried it to a security van though, well behind several exceedingly thick steel doors
( verbal, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 20:27, Reply)

500 million....
it was in turkish lyra though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 19:41, Reply)

never more than 3 grand..
although up to that much isnt very rare. all of my cars (most expensive = £1k) mountain bikes (£3k on one, £5k on 1K bikes aside from that) and other stuff is bought in cash. used to help cash up at places i've worked, so seen a bit more too..

not very exciting. sorry.
(5lab, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 17:57, Reply)

House Purchase
Buying my first house with my brother about 7 years ago.

Payment due to the agents on 19 September. I leave the country on 12 September for 3 weeks working for a travel company.

On the 17th the Brother gets the bank drafts (good for cash), and sends them with a client on a flight to the resort. I'm waiting at the airport and take possesion of the two cheques; total value 178000 euro. I ensorse them (sign the back) and give them to another client who is flying back to Dublin.

Brother meets the client at the airport and takes the cheques back.

178000 travels 6 hours in a plane so I can hold it for 5 minutes, scrawl my name on it and then 178000 travels 6 hours home again.
(Bobo148, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 15:18, Reply)

£2500.....every second of every day...
My Dad....in all of his wisdom, thought a watch would be a nice 18th birthday present. It was..."It's lovely" I thought to myself as i opened up the box.

Two weeks later, walking through the Trafford Centre my then-girlie points out my watch in a shop window. Sure enough....£2500, Omega Speedmaster blady-blah blah......HOLYFUCKINGSHIT!

Cheers dad....i'm now bloody horrified.

Over the next few months i came to the conclusion that the absence of any digital screens or such would render it useless to chav types, meaning only old people know what it is....and i can drop most old people should they try to steal it. (well, not the few that are like Chuck Norris. He is one hard, old bugger...don't get many like him in Manc though) Still, it never leaves my side.

Frightened of losing it? Nope.

Frightened of the ass-whoopin my old man would give me? Yup. I'm 23.


Length? Yup...Girth? Yup.....but it is an Omega!

EDIT: Yes, i know...not technically cash. I make it 'on topic' by suggesting that i could wander into a pawn shop. Maybe.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 13:44, Reply)

Filthy Lucre
14.5K in 500 Euro notes, in a money belt (cor don't those things get smelly?). We had to smuggle it out to Italy (can't take more than 10K because of laundering regs) to pay a lawyer and an estate agent. Being Italy they all insist on cash - and the real sting in the tail - buyers have to pay estate agents anywhere between 2.5 and 4% of the house price for the priviledge of being shown round. Thanks for that.
(Countryslicker, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 12:49, Reply)

Not me but....
... there's a bird outside my office window with about 2 inches of arse-crack visible over her low-slung levi hipsters!!!
And she's pretty fit too....
(LunarJim, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 12:40, Reply)

Buying a second hand car
£5k in my pocket - nearly bricked it on the
way when the local chavs started calling over,
all talk no balls as per usual though :)
( SiX and his hat, Tue 27 Jun 2006, 12:34, Reply)