One of my mates grand-da's
as an apprentice iron worker. A 12" I beam had to be shortened by a few inches and there is a discussion on the best way to do this. "Could use a hacksaw" says the lad. "Oh ah," says the foreman, "that will be a good job for you." So he cuts to the line for 3 long days scraping back and forth with a hand saw until the piece finally comes off.
The foreman looks and says it is still too long. He rolls up an acetylene torch and in five minutes cuts to the right length.
"Lesson #1, laddie," he says, "until you know what you're talking about, keep your fekkin pie hole shut."
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 15:35, 1 reply)

One of the senior pipe fitters I used to work with told me when he and his brother first apprenticed, his brother got sent to assist the riggers with a building framework being constructed in the yard, an old guy was welding some pipe bracket supports to the uprights on a scaffold and told this blokes brother to climb up, told him where to stand and to look away as he welded the bracket on.
The company used to issue external steel toecap boots to its workforce and the rotten old bastard had firmly welded the youngster to the steelwork by his toecaps.

I just used to fill new starters rigger boots up with expanding foam if they left then lying about the locker room instead of putting them away like they are supposed to.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 21:48, closed)

I don't know much about engineering, apart from 2 facts:
1. The external diameter of a pipe must ALWAYS be greater than the internal diameter

2. Pipes of less than 1mm in length are referred to as "washers"
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 0:25, closed)

1 and 1/4" repair washers also double up nicely as poker chips for playing 3 card brag, value being represented by the diameter of the hole in the middle.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 14:23, closed)