My dear old mum.
Growing up, I always had the best things my parents could afford. I wasn't spoiled, but I never went without the essentials and there were a few luxuries too.

This made it all the worse when my mum, or "The Great Toywrecker" as she was known in certain circles, invariably destroyed them or threw them out.

She stood on my action man tank and destroyed it. She threw out an entire plastic bagfull of toy soldiers. But nothing, NOTHING, broke my young heart more than my priceless disc-firing gun.

It was quite simply, to a 10 year old boy, the best thing ever. Although back then it was simply a "machiney", I know now that it was a plastic Heckler & Koch MP5. It had a removeable magazine which held plastic discs which seemed to go for miiiiiiles. I LOVED that toy. I could pick the wings off a fly at 10 paces. I knewthat, one day, when I was older, I'd get married with that gun slung over my shoulder.

Then it happened.

I may break down during this so bear with me. It was comic relief day..... a happy day tinged with sadness, and it was about to get far sadder. I had, as usual, been blasting my soldiers (what few platoons remained after my mum sent most of them to unmarked graves at the tip) with my prized posession, when my mum entered and we had a row. It was a long time ago and I forget details, but there are two pertinent facts. One, I was a lippy little bugger, and two, I did NOT get away with lip. My mum, incandescent with rage, charged at me to give me a clip round the ear, so I did what any soldier would do..... I threw my gun at her. She tripped, paused, picked it up and.......

I'm ok, I can continue.

I think she was trying to throw it into my toy box, but it hit the side. It happened in slow motion. It just exploded into a million pieces and went flying all over the room. I looked down and saw the little plastic magazine laying next to my feet and burst into floods of tears, my dreams of bringing down world terrorrism shattered.

She was very sorry. I remember sitting, tear streaked and in a huff, as she brought me a cup of tea and let me stay up to watch comic releif. She finally assuaged my huff by assuring me my dad would make it good as new with superglue.

I bounded from bed next day and ran to see if he had managed to turn the mangled plastic shards back into my prized toy.

Bloody liars had put it in the bin as soon as I fell asleep.

And to this day, terrorism plagues the world. I think we all lost something that night....... I think we all did. *salutes*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 4:17, Reply)