OK IT IS FUCKING STUPID THIS STUFF COSTS MONEY BUT IT DOES
Err I sell for a living really rare and somewhat obscure and rubbishy looking art.

A few years ago I sold the following item to a collector who was obsessed- here it is described in its Sunday Best clothes albeit - a slightly academic dry language

Brouwn, Stanley
BROUWN lemonspot.
Frankfurt : Gallery Patio , 1963.
37 x 30 cm sheet of paper, with a brownish stain where lemon juice has been applied by Brouwn (thus the 'lemon spot'). Very fine copy (no fading, no damage etc) of this scarce artwork of Brouwn, which is relatively unknown. It is likely that only very few copies have survived. Not in Ruhe, H., Stanley Brouwn; A chronology, 2001

In more simple language a bit of paper that once had had some lemon squeezed on it by the artist.

Now as all we big kid spies know lemon juice disappears after a while to await being revealed by a little heat from, say, a candle - so effectively this bit of paper was to all intents and purposes blank to the human eye,

My assistant of the time did not know that i had sold this piece of paper that very afternoon for 1,750 quid and had it on my desk to get it ready for a tender, loving session of wrapping and packing that only another piece of expensive sold art can get from me as I ponder the delights of spending the future income on hedonistic persuits. In fact my assistant (take a bow, Lewis) thought it was just another bit of paper and took it from my desk and put it in a large pile of waste paper of roughly the same size and texture awaiting for recycling and then added other paper for good measure.

It is amazing how hard one has to look at single bits of paper in a big pile to see if there are any invisible marks there. Mind you for seventeen hundred smaceroonies and a bit more I bet everyone of you would have joined me and him in the thankless task of peering closely at the sheets. Little fucker didn't even stay after his shift ended either - I had to find it an hour or so later!
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Fri 15 Aug 2008, 19:29, Reply)