I won a Gold!
Fish. What? Oh, just humour me...

I once won a goldfish at the local village fete, through the tried and tested means of bouncing a ping pong ball into a jam jar.

I handed him in his temporary plastic bag home over to the gentle hands of my mother, while I skipped off, smugly complacent, to buy an ice cream.

When I returned, Lendl (*) was gone, and my mother was aimlessly puttering around the homemade jams stall. Bottom lip a-quiver, I asked her, "Mum, where's my goldfish?"

"I gave him away," she replied. Apparently, she'd expressly forbidden me to even attempt to win any kind of pet as inevitably the responsibility for their care fell to her when I got bored and went to play with my "My Little Pony Horsey Health Spa" or whatever shiny toy caught my attention that day. I had conveniently chosen to forget her warnings and had won the fish regardless.

I now choose to also conveniently forget her pleading that "she doesn't want to be put in a home", the goldfish murdering (**) harridan.


(*) Yes, I named my fish after a tennis player. I didn't have many friends as a child.

(**) I know she didn't technically murder him, but did she do a home visit to check he was going to a good family? Did she enquire as to whether they had a cat? Did she bugger, she may as well have flushed him down the toilet.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Tue 19 Aug 2008, 16:51, 3 replies)

Aw, bless you
That reminds me, I named my last hamster Enoch, after Mr Powell. I was only 13...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 19 Aug 2008, 17:40, closed)

Original names
Nice one. I once had a pet Gerbil called "Senna".
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 19 Aug 2008, 22:57, closed)

goldfish
my sis had a goldfish called 'Alanis'

that I boiled to death by leaving it in the sunlounge...

*click!*
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Wed 20 Aug 2008, 8:37, closed)