When working as a court official,
I was one day dealing one day with the family of a man who was in custody for a breach of his bail conditions. They were nice folks.

The bloke was duly 'ad up before the magistrates and the story came out.

He'd got bail for some petty offences with a condition that he stayed out of the county where he'd committed the crimes.

However, on the next Saturday night he'd taken his family to a pub for a birthday meal. The pub is well-known for good food, but is also, he failed to notice, unfortunately just over the county border.

An off-duty policeman recognised him and called it in. A van turned up and he was carted away, to the humiliation of his family.

The Beaks were nice about it. To widespread laughter, they released him on condition that he buy an A-to-Z.

Outside court, I chatted to his wife and she told me how embarrassing the incident had been.
'I'm never going there again!' she said. 'And we had vouchers for Two Meals For One Night, too. Won't be using them now - you might as well have them!'

I responded that I couldn't possibly accept such a bribe, while whipping the vouchers into my gown pocket.

So that's how I came to take my mate, her new fiancee and Mr Quar out for a congratulatory posh meal, in a crowded pub, along with all the other cheapskates for miles.
And possibly one or two beady-eyed off-duty plods - who knows?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 9:33, Reply)