TightwadsThere's saving money, and there's being tight: saving money at the expense of other people, or simply for the miserly hell of it.
Tell us about measures that go beyond simple belt tightening into the realms of Mr Scrooge.
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chthonic, Thu 23 Oct 2008, 13:58)
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My Uncle is as tight as a thingy's arse.My uncle is the tightest person I know.
He had had worked his way up the financial ladder from humble immigrant roots. Born in Glasgow, he made a living shining boots, and was enraged when a ditchdigger paid him with a US dime. However, the coin inspires him to take a position as cabin boy on a Clyde cattle ship to the United States to make his fortune. He is probably now one of the richest people in the world.
He keeps a portion of his wealth, that money he has personally earned himself, in a massive money bin overlooking the city of Duckburg, which he explains to me and my fellow nephews is "just petty cash." He regularly forces my father Donald and my brothers to polish the coins one by one in order to pay off Donald's debts — my uncle will not even pay him very much for this lengthily, tedious, hand-breaking work. As far as he is concerned, even 5 cents an hour is too much expenditure.
A shrewd businessman and noted tightwad, his hobbies include diving into his money like a porpoise, burrowing through it like a gopher, and throwing coins into the air to feel them fall upon his skull. He is also the richest member of The Billionaires Club of Duckburg, a society which includes the most successful businessmen of the world and allows them to keep connections with each other. His colleagues Glomgold and Rockerduck are also influential members of the Club. His most famous prized possession is his Number One Dime.
The sum of my uncle's wealth is disputed. According to one accountant, he is worth one multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents although his biographer has a more conservative estimation of five multiplujillion, nine impossibidillion, seven fantasticatrillion dollars and sixteen cents. In 2007, Forbes listed his wealth at a much more modest $28.8 billion. Whatever the amount, my uncle never considers it enough: he has to continue to earn money by any means possible even if it means screwing us, his poor family.
Signed,
Huey
(, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 23:54, 1 reply)
All that cash, yet he can't find a decent pilot.*shakes head sorrowfully*
(, Sat 25 Oct 2008, 12:56, closed)
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