Ha, I know one straight away
I went on a works night out with some of the very 'cool cats' i used to work with.
One of them kept retiring to the loos to snort copious amounts of coke in the toilet.

I decided at some that i needed a good old shit and walked into the toilet. There was no loo roll to be seen so 'bold as brass' i strolled up to the bar and asked to borrow the massive roll of kitchen roll on the bar.
I tucked it under my arm and strolled confidently into the toilets.
I had my brownbum then i went about wiping with the thick oversized loo roll. basically it was a messy shite so when i stood up i realised that there were huge pieces of loo roll smeared with humanous blocking the loo.
I flushed and flushed and the monstrosity would not go away.
Fuck it.
I Thought.
I opened the cubicle door to see a maintenance chap stood with a pile of loo rolls (obviously tipped off by someone that a big feller was in the loo with a kitchen roll).
so i said....

'i wouldn't go in there mate, some dirty bastards made a right mess!'

and strolled out.

Then later on in the evening my white powdered friend came out of the loo looking unwell.
I asked him what was wrong and he said...

'I was just doing a line of charlie off the toilet seat and i thought to myself.. 'i can smell shit'.
he had opened the lid and seen the circus of horrors i had left for him.

I never told him a word.
(JinDod, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 11:33, Reply)