Not really a toilet story, more a best poo ever story.
Picture the scene: halfway through a tour of Scandinavia, I woke up on the tour bus (rule no. 1: no shitting in the onboard khazi), with my usual morning urge to take a dump. Opened curtain to see that we were parked in a layby halfway up the side of a heartstoppingly beautiful fjord. Obviously, not a loo for miles around, so I climbed up the rocks beside the layby and found a reasonably hidden place that still gave me a wonderful view of the fjord and evacuated my bowels with a very contented sigh. Perfect shit as well: not too soft, not too firm, good length and consistency. Very satisfying! Then a quick stroll back to the bus for some excellent coffee.

Scariest dump EVER: my band was playing at a green 'festival' on the edge of a HUGE strip mine in newly post-commie Czechoslovakia with a thunderstorm going on. I stumbled through a sucking mire between flapping plastic sheeting to find the bogs, which were - get this - basically a plank with holes in, somehow suspended about 100 ft over the edge of the mine. I had NO IDEA how they were staying up, but nature was not so much calling as bellowing, so, whimpering, I gingerly lowered myself onto the wobbly plank and took what felt like the longest dump in the world, praying that something wouldn't come loose in the howling gale. After that, playing in about 3 inches of water on a wind-lashed stage with very dodgy eastern european electrics didn't seem quite so scary. Or having to witness Nazareth play 'My White Bicycle' three times, come to that.
(redthing, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 13:39, Reply)