Men can't pee.
Quite fitting a question for I have this last Wednesday solved an office mystery.

You see, every afternoon, I'd go take a whiz in the nearby bathroom only to find the floor in front the middle urinal generously sprinkled with pee. Why, oh why, would I think? What is so complex with the usage of a porcelain bowl as big as an elephant's rear? And to think of the cleaning lady who must -everyday- mop this mess...

And then... illuminati...

I open the door, step in, and here's this guy, about three feet from the middle urinal, hose in hand, trying his best at a 45 degree angle in order to, you know, propel pee through the air at a distance worthy of those St-Bernard-sized teddy bears one wins at fairs. Hey... Isn't that how *every* man on earth uses that "white bowl" thingy?

How my eyes remained in their sockets, I'll never know...

Hey, you may come from a foreign country but if the urinal concept is that foreign to you, perhaps your country is doing something wrong.

Now, I *may* have shamed him into not doing it again because since then, the floor is as clean as a bathroom floor should be when said bathroom floor is from an office where the average worker is a PhD and 40 years old...


Onto a riddle now... Why in the fucking hell is it that some men just cannot -repeat: *cannot*- start peeing in a urinal before they spit in it? Oh, and it doesn't matter if their mouth happens to be a little dry at the time, no sireee, they start pumping! Pump, pump, pump, pump that saliva. They look like a mute person trying to express their first orgasm in words. Pump, pump, pump, pump that saliva! And when *finally* they have three drops of the thing ready to be spit, spit they do. Straight down. Kind of like... if one would want to spit on his own hands...

and wiener...

at the same time...

in public...

?

No really: ?

I ask in all the humbleness I can express in TrueType font: ???

And Vishnu forbid that the man in question be over 60, then he basically just force-drools. Sliming his chin on the way...

Anybody?
(st0pid, Sat 3 Sep 2005, 8:38, Reply)