Impromptu Toilet
Anyone that's been to Reading Festival (or pretty much any festival for that matter) will know how bad the toilets can get. There's not enough of them, and they're being used by thousands of dirty, smelly and often drunk or stoned music fans. As a result they can be quite unpleasant.

Reading 2004, and a mate of mine attempted to go all weekend without using them. After two days of furtively pissing in bushes, Sunday afternoon rolls around and he's absolutely bursting for a shit. It's just me and him at the campsite, and I'm trying to each lunch whilst he complains to me about just how desperate he is for a crap. I have a good laugh at him and eventually he shuts up and disappears for a while. I assume this means he's bitten the bullet and made his way over to the portaloos.

Suddenly, however, he reappears and darts into his tent. It's all rather quiet and as I'm begginning to wonder what he's up to, out he comes, clutching a plastic bag and muttering to himself.

"That was fucking awful," he opines.

"Did you just fucking do what I think you did?" I ask, but he promptly disappeares again, only to return, sans bag. After some grilling, I eventually get him to own up to the fact that, yes, he had taken a shit. In a plastic bag. In his tent.

I still refuse to let him live that down.
(Frank Snow, Sat 3 Sep 2005, 17:10, Reply)