Scared the crap out of me
Being a commuter with a habit of getting caned on schoolnights, I often find myself having to use the facilities at Victoria station on the way to work in the mornings.

I know the Government seems to want to encourage cottaging by decriminalising it, but personally I find predatory homosexuality in the toilets of one of the capital's major railway stations at 8.15am to be a bit beyond the pale. How are you supposed to crack the bowl in comfort when people keep knocking on the door and asking if you would like company? Anyway, I digress.

One morning while emptying my bowels of a particularly noxious substance which seemed to resemble gravy being pumped through a firehose, I took a breath (a potentially fatal mistake) grabbed a piece of bog paper to wipe the beads of sweat of my forehead and settled down.

In the pause, I noticed a slight movement by foot. It seemed that during my efforts to expel foulness I had had an audience of a single perv who had been watching me by holding a mirror under the partition between cubicles.

I immediately kicked the mirror as hard as I could with the witty reply of 'Fuck you fucking bender'. Potentially not the wisest thing to say but I was a little, well, distracted.

I was incredibly angry and, had I not been rendered unable to go and adminster a sound leathering by the fact that I had a shitty arse and my trousers around my ankles, would have been out of that trap like a flash.

Once I had finished I spent the next few minutes stomping around the toilets looking for someone to kill. For once the predatory queens did not look at me with quizzical interest as I growled around looking for the sicko who I felt had violated me.

Thinking about it , I suppose the perv's got a good racket going on there. I mean who's willing to rush out without wiping?

NB// I actually like gay men. They dress better than us straights and are great fun to get drunk with. I just resent having to drop the kids off at the pool while trying to convince them I am in a toliet to have a dump and not for some rought trade.

Oh well.
(batsub, Sat 3 Sep 2005, 22:35, Reply)