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This is a question Toilets

Toilets are weird half public/half private spaces. All sorts of stuff goes on in them. They are devious entrances and exits from venues, places to have sex, to snort drugs or even, get this, to defecate. Tell us your favourite toilet stories.

(, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 11:11)
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When I was doing my A-levels many years ago, I decided to join the physics class for three weeks to get myself a free trip to London (being from Newcastle, this was something of a novelty) with three mates who were already doing physics.

So we went to London for this physics convention thing. Went out and got pissed in the evening (I think we broke into Hyde Park or something that night too) , came back with a bottle of vodka and various other stupid drinks (20/20 etc.). Snorted the vodka and finished the other shit. Spewed all over the room (I was even sick in the safe) then went out to buy cleaning products to clear up our vomit smeared room. Cleaning operation over, me and one mate passed out in our room. Then the other two went back to their room and passed out there.

So, we're woken up in the morning by the teacher for day two of this conference thing. Thankfully our room was now spotless. We met the other two looking sheepish downstairs. We left the hotel.

Half way through the day they confessed to us that one of them had decided to lay a massive beige log in the bath in the middle of the night. Neither of them would admit it or could remember who it was. And they hadn't cleaned it up because every time one of them went in the bathroom, they'd be sick from the smell.

We laughed for the rest of the day and went back to the hotel in the evening. To find our teacher, red-faced, standing at the reception with the hotel manager.

Apparently, the very simple ruse of putting the 'do not disturb' sign on the door hadn't stopped the maid from going into the room. She'd opened the bathroom door, seen the puke covered turd lying there, like some hideous banana-split from hell, and fainted instantly.

Not hearing anything from her colleague for a while, another maid went in to see what was up.

She fainted too.

They both had to be sent home and took a week off.

And the moral of this little story? Simple; never shit in the bath.
(, Mon 5 Sep 2005, 14:55, Reply)

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