Yet another
For my housewarming party for my apartment in university, I had all my friends over, and they all brought different kinds of liquor. I had a bit of everything. The place was a nice, decent fourth-floor apartment with plenty of room.

Then we went out to a friend's home who had some good weed. When I got up to go, it became apparent how drunk I'd been. I chundered up enough to feed an army in my friend's toilet. They carried me back home.

The first thing I did when I got back was inexplicably climb out of my clothes (except my underwear) and lock myself in the bathroom.

While I was in there, one friend helped himself to some frozen perogies in my freezer. After he finished cooking them, he felt bad so he asked me if he could have them. Through the bathroom door.

"Hey, can I have some perogies?"
"No!"

Then a friend needed to take a leak, so he knocked on the door.

"I really gotta use that thing," he said.

"You can't come in," I retorted.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Piss off the balcony."

So he did.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Tue 6 Sep 2005, 10:26, Reply)