Forgot About This One.
Not a very funny story but one that needs to be told.

When I was a student I used to work on an International Work Camp in the Midlands. It was a fantastic place to spend the Summer. A bit like a three-month long festival.

This one year a bunch of Irish girls turned up at the site - about 8 of them as I remember and proceeded to wreak havoc with the male libidos. What is it about Irish girls that turn normally calm men into lust-crazed, testosterone fueled maniacs? Ah well.

Anyway, this one night one of the girls headed off to the bogs, weaving slightly as she was fairly well oiled. I was passing the bogs a few minutes later when I heard horrific screams and could see the flicker of flames coming from the inside of the toilets. Of course, I legged it inside as fast as I could (I could here others running to the toilets in the distance) and was confronted with a locked toilet cubicle where I could see flames and smoke licking over the edge of the stall and frantic terror filled screams coming from the inside. Being a heroic type (at least in my own mind) I stepped back and launched a terrific flying kick at the door of the stall in the hope of rescuing the poor maiden inside. Hey, this is me. Nothing goes to plan. Instead of kicking the door off it's hinges as was my intent, my foot and leg went straight through the door and I was left dangling upside down, tethered by my thigh which was stuck through the door. Then the cavalry arrived and the rest of the lads shoulder-charged the door open (dragging my head bouncing along the concrete) and pulled the burning girl out and smothered the flames. Eventually somebody got round to freeing me.

It later turned out that the girl had a pair of jeans on where the zip had gone and she'd replaced it with a shoe-lace. When she went to the bog she found that she couldn't undo the knot and so tried to burn through it. She had fantastic long black hair and as she leaned forward to burn through the knot, her hair caught fire and that, in turn, set fire to her top. She was months in hospital and pretty badly scarred.

For once, no funny punchline.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 6 Sep 2005, 11:24, Reply)