Revenge is sweet.
One hot day I was out in the yard mowing the lawn- not one of my favorite activities- when it became a lot less enjoyable as I felt a stabbling pain in my leg, followed by another and then a bunch of them all at once. I let go of the mower and ran, trailing yellowjackets that were still trying to get me before they turned their attentions to the lawnmower. After a couple of minutes I got a garden rake and caught the handle of the mower and pulled it out of the cloud of angry bees and shut it off, then waited for the little fuckers to dissipate so I could find the nest.

Sure enough, there was a hole about the size of my thumb in the ground with the little bastards crawling in and out of it. So I did what I always do when I find a yellowjacket nest in my yard- I poured about a cup of gasoline down in it and jumped back. The little bastards swarmed around, but the gasoline vapors were doing them in and I gloated for a moment.

Then I did what every guy does, and tossed the match. FOOMP!

I was standing there enjoying the sight of the burning yellowjackets when an upstairs window crashed open. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?"

"Ummm... getting rid of bees..."

Her face became red, her veins started popping out and even from the yard I could see the spit flying as she screamed at me, finishing with "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen!" before she slammed the window.

The neighborhood stayed very quiet for a while after that...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 20 Sep 2007, 19:59, Reply)