Midgets and exploding heads
Christ, I can't believe I'm going to post this story. Probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me...

I wasn't technically an adult, but in the first year of sixth form. At the start of each year they reset the school passwords to the same thing for everyone and there are some in the school who never use their accounts, making it pretty easy to use someone else's accounts for your misdoings as they could easily track your internet actions.

So here we were, ICT last lesson on a Monday and I have a friend (Well, more a friend of a friend, I can't stand the guy to be honest) who reveals he has no internet at home. So I decide to show him the best the net has to offer. Not wanting to get caught, I nick a random persons account.

Cue the next 30 minutes being spent showing him harlequin fetus, tubgirl, goatse, that video of the guys head exploding and worst of all: Midget porn.

A few minutes later the head IT tech comes in asking if the person who we had nicked the account from was in the room. When no one answered he left only to come in a minute later and make a beeline straight to our computer. We'd forgotten that each PC has a unique ID number which they can also use.

Busted.

Next day we had to stand in front of our headmistress who is about 60 and our 54 year old devout Irish Catholic head of year with the IT tech showing print outs with the titles and site info on one page of A4 each. There were about 15 pages. For each one we could see her shocked and disgusted expression.

Luckily, we both admitted it and got away punishment free AND our parents weren't called. I mean really, try explaining midget porn to them. And save for some major piss-taking we were all clear.

Where am I now? I'm Senior Prefect at my school. Funny how that works, eh?

Length? Not very big, but when you're 3 ft 2, it must have been massive.
( B.T., Sat 22 Sep 2007, 14:13, Reply)