Virgin? Not for long, matey…’Cos I’m gonna fuck ‘em!
As many of you who have been kind enough to read some of my previous posts will already know, I have been on the arse-end of an ongoing struggle to comprehend the utter bastardness that is Virgin Media (prev NTL).

(Btw, please don’t post / message me saying ‘Why don’t you just change internet provider then, you bell-end?’ I can’t. It’s complicated. I’m working on it but basically for the moment, I’m stuck with them).

Anyway, to put it mildly for the impressionable youngsters reading this QOTW, Virgin Media are a bunch of lying, cheating, blagging, lying (again), conniving, thieving, bullshitting spunk garglers who’ll say anything to fuck your miserable carcass off the phone and are generally not worth the veritable stink off my Thora.

The last time I called them and emptied a truckload of whippass on them, they promised me 20MB broadband. Oooohh

www.b3ta.com/questions/councilcunts/post86193/

This has never materialised. Ever since this ‘promise’, my broadband speed has been up and down like a bride’s nightie, but never gone faster than a (very) brief 11MB. In fact, my BB connection is just like my sexlife…fuck all for ages, then 20 seconds of going like the clappers…woo…then fuck all again. Now it’s been getting steadily worse….and slower. I don’t get road rage, but I sure as shit get broadband rage. *Grrrr.*

I was asked to set up a laptop for a mate last night. This required internet access. But instead of the so-called 2000kbs I have been paying for, I was running on a steady….wait for it….

9kbs…JESUS-GOD-BASTARD-NINE!

Fuck my arse.

Consequently, I got less work done last night than I do in my day job, which is solely spent writing anti-Virgin Media rants on B3ta.

Anyway, relevance you ask? Well this QOTW is about telling off…and that’s exactly what I’m going to do to the fuckers when I’ve finished this post

If you work for Virgin Media, I’d take the day off if I were you and get out of there...now.

That scene where the Terminator goes into the police station will be like a sweet summer picnic compared to what I’m gonna do down the phone to those snatchbucklers in a minute.

I’ll be back….
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 25 Sep 2007, 10:26, Reply)