Being told off by a twat...
I am employed to drive around in a big van with blue lights and (allegedly) help the sick & injured (or just plain drunk usually). Whilst solo on one said van, I had to fill it up with diesel (it even nags me to put diesel in, not petrol, in a very loud irritating voice, because my bosses think I'm a fckwit). As I pull onto the garage forecourt, the emergency mobile phone rings. Remembering that the Govnmt want me to respond within 30 secs, or I can spend days explaining why I didn't to the same bosses that don't trust me to fill up with the correct fuel, I answer the damn phone. Over the very loud tannoy comes the grating voice of Shell employee of the year "Oi, you can't use that phone here, it's dangerous"
I hang up & attend said emergency before returning to same garage to refuel. As I pay for the fuel I am subjected to a red faced tirade about the dangers of using a mobile near a petrol pump, they explode you know!
Of course, reading about the dozens of exploding filling stations that occur weekly in the UK due to this very thing, has prepared me for this, and I should hang my head in shame and stand in a pool of my own piss for being so thoughtless of others safety.
As I get in the Amblnce to drive away, the cnut only comes out and sparks up a ciggie less than 2m from the nearest pump, making me realise once and for all that figures of authority deserve nothing but contempt and I really must learn not to wee myself when told off by an adult as I might catch fire or explode.

length: about 6m, not forgetting to leave room for the tail-lift (Kerrrunch...oops!)
(stygof, Tue 25 Sep 2007, 17:55, Reply)