Being told off as an adultWhen was the last time you were properly told off? You know: treated as an errant child rather than the sophisticated adult you are.
The sort of thing that dredges up an involuntary teenage mumble of "Sorry, Miss" whilst you stare at the ground.
Go on, tell us what childish thing you were up to when you got caught.
Oh, and can we have more than one-line answers this time? Cheers!
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chthonic, Thu 20 Sep 2007, 17:18)
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I told someone off onceI was crossing the road at some traffic lights a while back. The driver at the front of the queue used the following technique.
1. Stare at the lights, only the lights, not around the lights, stare at the lights.
2. Accelerate hard on the ‘O’ of orange.
I had enough time to think ‘fu..’ before a I was on his bonnet and then as quickly dumped back on the road when he braked. Brilliant I thought as a stood up and inspected my cut hands...but I wasn’t angry.
Stood in front of the car I looked at the guy, he stared back impassively no sign of an apology...I still felt calm.
I decided to get on with my day, I gave the guy a barley perceptible shake of my head and turned to go. I felt proud I’d managed to keep it tight.
A movement caught my eye, he was pointing at the lights. Then he pointed at the lights again and waved his finger at me, telling me off for being on the road when the lights turned orange.
Did I tell you about my anger issues? I have two emotonal states. Perfectly calm and angrier than the angriest person you’ve ever seen. It’s not a red mist, it’s a deep dark well, a pitch black elevator with the cables cut. A frightening descent to a place where I have no control.
Or much memory.
But on this occasion I was with a work colleague who was able to tell me later what I’d done.
In short the guy got a rather server telling off. Screaming incoherently I leapt round to the side of the car, opened the door, removed the keys and threw them in some bushes, dragged him out of the car. Still not making any sense very loudly, I slammed him against the car a few times, held him around the throat for a while and generally led him to believe he was going to die. Then I bellowed at him;
“WHAT DO YOU DO?”
“WHAT DO YOU DO?”
Five or six times
“YOU WAIT FOR THE LIGHTS TO CHANGE, CHECK THE WAY IS CLEAR, THEN YOU PROCEED”
And threw him to the ground. I was a hundred yards up the road before I properly came to. My work mate gabbling about the fella shitting himself and me going psycho and getting ‘highway code on his arse’.
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Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 26 Sep 2007, 14:59,
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