Clem
I knew a guy at uni called Clem, he was very, "Rah rah I'm from Surrey" and all that but also a complete dog. On various field trips he told me the following delightful things:

- He had a small boil type lump on his arse that became known as Clems Coco Pop. He wasn't shy about displaying it either.

- One time, he'd recently shagged some filthy bird and was convinced he'd caught herpes. Whilst pissing on a beach on the north coast of Scotland he screeched, "Argh it burns and there's a blister on my cock!" and tried to show me. I politely declined his offer.

- On one very rainy day on the Scottish coast he disappeared then returned later to tell us he'd been for a dump but not without incident. He'd squatted by a wall and droppred his guts but when he'd finished he looked down. He'd shat into his waterproof trousers which were crumpled around his ankles. "What did you do?!" we asked in horror, he replied in his deep, posh tones, "I scraped it out with a stick pulled my trousers up and came over to tell you".

There's no substitute for class is there?
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 11:37, Reply)