In memory of Legless...
First post, be gentle with me...

I have known Legless for about four years. Twice I have seen him rendered helpless...

First time me and the sweary other half (aka Tourettes) had called into the Tap for a swift pint with Legless and his then gf. As is usual when getting together, much humour ensued, to the point where Tourettes was sat, with a gob full of beer trying desperately not to choke on it or spit it out (cos that would be a waste).

On seeing her predicament, I looked at her, saw her silent plea for help, and said "come on pet, swallow... *brief pause* ... you know you can". Cue sprayings of beer from Tourettes, while Legless proceeded to turn purple in the face at the ensuing mess of beer, snot and general bewilderment of the rest of the bar.

Second time was after an afternoon's walking in the hills, where we had decided to get a bit *ahem* frisky. it was a nice day, plenty of trees... you get the picture. Anyway, the usual procedure on the way back, text Legless and meet in the Tap for a pint. We get there, Legless and gf are already onto their third pint or so. Grabbing a pint we sit down with them, exchange pleasantaries and they ask what we've been up to.

"Just got back from Thrunton", says I, raisng my eyebrows at the missus. "Yeah", says she, "we had a bit of al fresco luuurve. In fact, watch me pint Davros, I'm just nipping away to drop the children off at the pool".

Legless clicked straight away and started pissing himself laughing. Unfortunately, he too had just taken a gobful of beer. Catching someone mid-slurp with a well timed innuendo is one of life's little joys, I always thought...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Sep 2007, 13:42, Reply)