as a baby lawyer
you do several seats whilst training, growing fangs, drinking blood, losing friends, abandoning social life etc.

one of my stints was in personal injury. many of the witness statements went into far too much detail. particularly memorable ones are:

"my foot looked like a badly crushed animal and had to be amputated at the scene"

"the glass severed the nerves in my lips and now i dribble food and saliva all day and can't feel that i am doing it. my wife refuses to kiss me"

"my eyeball was hanging out of my socket and i could see it with the other eye"

but by far the worst was when my boss was recovering after an operation on his lower back. or so we all thought. it was only when he rang me and asked me to pull an email out of his sentbox and action it... that i clicked on the one below it... and found the very graphic description to his mate about what had happened.

being a fat man and a hairy one, his doctor had told him to get more exercise. doing this had made him sweat. this had inflamed an ingrowing hair inside his arse, which had basically turned into an abscess that had to be burst and drained. i think his description said: "it's like sitting on fire".

i was retching and laughing for about an hour after reading that. he was off work for about 6 weeks overall, and had to sit on a squashy ring thing for ages when he came back. i couldn't tell anyone or he'd have known i'd read the wrong email; it was torture.

worryingly, though, i told my friend who said her brother had the same thing after too much lacrosse. apparently it's fairly common when men sweat......... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewo....... ingrowing arse hair boils................. surely not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Sep 2007, 14:41, Reply)