right then, vasectomy story
When I was 23 my then wife and I announced that she was pregnant with what would be our third child. My mum offered to pay for a vasectomy and booked me into the Marie Stopes clinic as i was too young to get one on the NHS.

So I turn up for the appointment to first have counselling ("Do you want a vasectomy" "yes" "are you sure" "yes" "what if one of your children dies and you can't replace it?" "another child wouldn't be able to replace it" "ok go through the door then") followed by the procedure.

The doctor was a funny bloke (or at least he thought he was): as he was giving me the local he said "you may feel a small prick".

there was a little old lady nurse whose job it was to take my mind off the fact that there is a bloke with a sharp knife fiddling with my bollocks.
"So," she says, "have you been following the snooker?"
"No"
"What about the football?"
"No, don't follow football"
"Wimbledon?"
"No, look can we stop talking about ball games please?"

There follows an uncomfortable silence during which the doctor comments that a lot of men ask for a mirror on the ceiling so they can watch the op. I assure him i am not that sort of bloke.

The vas wasn't tied, it was cauterised. At this point I discovered that I hadn't been given enough anaesthetic as what felt like 10000 volts were sent through my balls.

After they had coaxed me off the ceiling and given me some more anaesthetic the rest of the operation passed without incident but once I got home it was fun explaining to the kids why I was sat with a bag of frozen peas over my crotch.
(bald old git was bemused and befuddled on, Fri 7 Sep 2007, 16:31, Reply)