Anglo-French carnal relations
Back in my uni days, a few of us (mostly guys but a couple of girls too) were in the local pub for a leisurely afternoon booze-up. We were sat around a table having a good old chat about all kinds of nonsense. One of our gang, Emma, was there. She was fairly quiet but often came out with us, especially since her French boyfriend had arrived a few months ago to live with her, and Emma thought it would be good for her boyfriend, Stephan, to mix with us and practice his English.
Now Stephan was a decent guy at heart, but none of us really "got" him. His English was very poor, and he was a very sensitive guy (in that French way), often appearing sullen and moody. He didn't seem to understand any of our pub banter, and the baudy jokes flew right over his head. He just sat there at the table sulking, head downcast, probably conceiving poetry in his head or something.
Anyway, the conversation turned to anal sex (as it often does). One of our number, a Scouse lad named Stu, exclaimed in his thick Mersey drawl, "I jus' don't understand, like, 'ow a cock can fit up an arse!"
Without raising his eyes from the floor, and in a deadpan, Gallic 'ow-you-say monotone, Stephan calmly muttered the now legendary words: "ask Emma".
The entire table (nay, pub) exploded into incredulous hysterics. We were literally rolling around the floor. In a split second Stephan had transformed himself from moody Frog into comic legend. A grateful smile even crossed his mouth, as he saw that he was finally accepted here as one of the lads.
However, moments later his smile evaporated, as all eyes turned to Emma, the only one not amused even slightly, who was sat there silent, tears in her eyes, her normally pale skin flushed with anger and shame.
Emma got up, and hissed "I can't believe you just told them that", and stormed out of the pub in tears.
That was pretty much the end of their relationship.
( Biffins Bridge, Sat 8 Sep 2007, 13:04, Reply)