Too much informationRakky writes "A friend of mine, when quizzed why she was late to the pub, announced 'I was at accident and emergency, having a stuck tampon removed. They had to have a right old dig around for it.' Suffice to say, no one was interested in their Scampi Fries after that."
When have you shared just that little too much?
(
chthonic, Thu 6 Sep 2007, 10:09)
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Fat sex storiesResident fat chav girl who inexplicably gets cock. At secondary school. She would inform anyone within ear shot of her sexual conquests.
There was the time she earned her brown wings with a 20 year old at the age of 15, it was "too quick fer me an' I shit myself... di'nt stop 'im though".
There was the time when another of her elder boyfriends was taking her (it?) out for a drive down the A419 when he "pulled ova into a layby and fuckt me brains owt"
Unfortunately this pseudo-pedophile was out of rubbers, thinking on her feet, she just "let him cum in me an' I warshed it out on sunday".
That happened on a Friday.
But, by far, the worst case of TMI was when we saw her tarted up to go clubbing.
Take one Jade Goody, then change the skin colour to 'British Chav pale'.
Then add 20lbs of sheer flab (which explains her cup size - 38DDD apparently).
Proceed to add an extra 20% of fugly.
Marinade it in the smell of "bacon gone bad"
Dress in a loose, low cut top that stops just as the bulging pot-belly begins.
Follow this up with a very short, billowy mini-skirt.
And no pants.
Multiply this by a windy day and you will obtain "loss of lunch".
And I thought seeing her in a swimsuit was bad enough....ergh.
(, Sat 8 Sep 2007, 21:58, Reply)
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