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This is a question Training courses, seminars and conferences

Inspirational or a waste of precious slacking-off time? I once went on a buzzword bingo-laden training course which ended up with my being held at gunpoint in public. Could have gone better, to be honest. Tell us your tales from either side of the lectern

(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 15:01)
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Schoolyard behaviour from snidey little suck-up ...
... on a training course on how to undergo an appraisal, which was now compulsory for everyone. The external trainer was over-ingratiating, like a hippy teacher trying to be mates with the class. He kept referring to 'your company', so I politely interrupted and said that we were a regulatory body and not really a company in the traditional sense, since we had nothing to sell and our purpose wasn't to make money.

Everyone nodded except for one little twat who had introduced himself as our "Head of Learning Development" or some such wankery. "It may interest you to know we are a company, actually!" he sneered. "We do have a profit and loss account". I replied that I understood that we did file accounts, thanks very much, but that wasn't really my point.

He continued to snipe for the rest of the (pointless) session, calling another bloke a '1970s union man' for arguing that the 3 page-long appraisal form with sections like "Working with Change" was overkill for his routine security guard job. It transpired that the (increasingly flustered) trainer was his mate and he wanted to defend him. When things eventually dragged to a close, I wandered over to Human Resources to pick up a form or something, and was promptly ambushed by the furious head of department and pulled into her office for a bollocking.

It transpired that the little shit had sneaked round the corner in coffee break time and told tales on all of us. Luckily she was eight months pregnant, had a mood swing in the middle of our conversation, and started berating herself for shouting at me.

I was going to take him behind the bike sheds and beat him up, but he left suddenly a week later to 'pursue his dream of writing a novel'. Shame.
(, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 20:02, Reply)

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