I once gave a lady tramp 50p just to get rid of her
I was trying to enjoy a beautiful summer evening drinking with work colleagues in the centre of Bristol and this woman just wouldn’t leave us alone. Against my better judgement I gave her the coin and quick as a flash she kissed me on the cheek and told me I was welcome in her bed any time. Yuck.

I thought that would be the end of it. Wrong. The next day at work the woman who sat near me said “I hear you kissed a tramp?” I spent the rest of the day explaining to curious colleagues that I had not kissed a tramp, but the more I denied it the more the rumour spread. At the time I worked in a building with about 800 employees and from then on whenever I met someone new it would be “Ohhh, you’re the guy who kissed a tramp!” There’s only so many times that you can explain through gritted teeth that you had NOT kissed a tramp before you go postal.

One day the central London sales manager came to Bristol to see us. I had worked with him over the phone but we had never actually met. I introduced myself and a look of recognition flashed across his face. I knew what was coming next. “Oh, you’re the guy (here it comes…that sodding tramp, will I ever live it down) that sorted out that key-man insurance with the multiple policy holders. Thanks for that, we almost lost the client”. With relief I confirmed that I was indeed that man. As an afterthought he turned to me and said, “Is it true that you once kissed a tramp?”

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:15, 6 replies)

heh...
Trampy tonsil tickling FTW
( snee held his breath since, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 12:52, closed)

*cries*
I. Did. Not. Kiss. A. Tramp.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:11, closed)

yes but
did you?


should have embraced the embarrassed and claimed no you didn't kiss her, but you did give her a good hard shag.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 14:41, closed)

Oh man, that's disgusting
I know I used words like "Lady" and "woman" when describing her, but what I really meant was "Hag" and "festering she-devil"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 3 Jul 2009, 15:21, closed)

That's not so bad
I'm forever known among my friends as the guy who slept with a hobo.

To be fair, she was 17 (I was 19), she was clean, I'd met her through an anti-fascist organization that had a fair number of the differently-housed as members, and she was freakin' cute.

Does anybody remember those details? Nooo, I'm just the guy who shagged a hobo.

Bastards.
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Mon 6 Jul 2009, 23:02, closed)

I still can't believe you kissed a tramp.

( Cawl, Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:40, closed)