8p mate?
As you walk down the ubiquitous yorkshire hills of Huddersfield into the industrial town centre towards the only attraction the place has to offer - Bars - you will be approached by 1 of 3 homeless northern scallywag bastards.

Either chavman, chavwoman or dirty old bugger will approach you and in the thickest of Yorkshire accents will ask...

"Scuse me maaate, ave yu got aaaate pee?"
For those who dont speak Yorkshire thats...."excuse me sir but do you have 8p that you could possibly spare me?"

I know what you are thinking and I have asked the question countless times...Why do they want 8p? If asked, the beforementioned will reply with some sort of predetermined and ambiguous answer...phone call/train/coffee etc etc.

After 3 years of the same question on a daily basis, a few of us began to get wise to these 3 particular people. On 2 occasions with side splitting consequences.

My housemate Tom was approached by Chavman who asked the usual

CM: "Scuse me maaate, ave yu got aaaate pee?"
T: "Sorry mate ive only got 7p on me" and proceeded on his way with me in tow trying not to fall over laughing.

This was only bettered the following day when Chavwoman unknowingly approached the same sharpwitted housemate.

CW: "Scuse me maaate, ave yu got aaaate pee?"
T: (checking his pockets for change) " ahhh damn, sorry luv, ive only got 10p, you got change?"

Her response never came and she walked away looking very confused whilst my laughter filled the smoggy Yorkshire air.
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Mon 6 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)