My dad's favourite joke.
Two toothless members of 'the portable wine tasting society' are strolling along one day, when one of them notices a strong smell of faeces in the air.

"Have you shit yourself?"
The first tramp enquires.

"No!"
Replies the second.
"How dare you suggest such a thing?"

The first tramp, albeit sceptical accepts this answer and they carry on their merry way.
A little while on and the smell of turd has only got worse.

"Are you sure you haven't shit yourself?"
The first tramp again asks.

"No, I have not bloody shit myself"
Once again replies his bridge camping companion.

So they continue on.

A little while on and the first Harry Ramp notices that they have not managed to beg a penny off anyone. People are actually crossing the street to avoid them, due to the stench of fetid arse matter that is surrounding them.

"Look, you fucking stink."
Says the first tramp.
"You are scaring away customers with your smell, are you sure you have not shit your pants?"

"I promise I have not shit myself, check for yourself."
The second tramp answers while turning round and undoing his 'Giorgio Armani summer collection' rope belt.

Once undone, the smelly tramp bends over and exposes his bare, foul stinking, sloppy arse gravy covered bum and cack caked kecks to his mate.

"Oh Jesus!"
Yells the first tramp, retching at the sight and odour.
"You have fucking shit yourself, its fucking everywhere!"

"No."
The smelly tramp replies....


"That's yesterdays."


Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Wed 8 Jul 2009, 15:03, Reply)