Here be dragons
Prepare yourselves for a journey into the heart of darkness. A tale of hardihood, endurance, and courage which should stir the heart of every Englishman.

Yes, I broke through the M25 barrier and then on past the mythical Northampton into the wastelands.

After half a lifetime I arrived at a native dwelling hole known locally as Dewsbury. The savages where friendly enough and eager to please in a dull eyed animalistic way. At time for luncheon my request to be taken to the nearest Waitrose was met with incomprehension. Some of them grunted 'asda asda' but I was unable to ascertain the meaning.

One of the more intelligent creatures understood my need for sustenance and took me to a local a feeding location. It was a grim affair. A huge she-cow was in charge and she pointed to some scrawl on a blackboard by way of communication.

My eyes settled on the horror.

THE HORROR.

Mucky Fat Sandwich £1.20
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:05, 12 replies)

this isn't funny and is only semi literate.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:19, closed)

Have you considered not giving a fuck?
but you are right, there's nothing funny about Dewsbury.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:27, closed)

Fucking Waitrose? You desperate Hyacinth.
If you'd carried on a few miles there's a Booths in Settle.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:26, closed)

I've not come accross Booths, I'll give them a go.

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:35, closed)

Supermarket of the GODS.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:36, closed)

I probably give Underwoods a go,I hear they do a good lunch.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 14:11, closed)

a few about 50
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 14:04, closed)

Aww, bless, you went to Dewsbury and considered yourself in the North.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 20:57, closed)

I believe the correct nomenclature is shit'ole

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 21:07, closed)

There's a Sainsbury's and an M&S there too you know.
But if you were really desperate for Waitrose you could have gone to Otley, a mere 22 miles away.

Also, "mucky fat" is another name for dripping. It's popular with the older folk.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 13:58, closed)

Oi! Mind who you're calling "older folk"!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 16:20, closed)

Did I mention your name in that post?
Did I?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 21:53, closed)