A relative of mine
I think she's sort of my dad's second cousin (she's my great aunt's daughter).

Anyway. My great aunt was a lovely old lady who, for the last five or so years of her life, shared her cosy little cottage with a fella - she was divorced and he was a widower, and being in their seventies, they didn't want to bother with the formality of remarrying. They really, really should have...

She had complications from a nasty accident, and unfortunately died in hospital, rather unexpectedly (she was quite sprightly). This is where it gets twattish.

Her daughter first of all asked my dad to contribute towards the funeral. This was a bit odd because 1) It wasn't his mother, 2) weird relative is apparently quite well off, and 3) Ted (Auntie's bloke) found out about it, and rang my dad to let him know that Auntie had a policy to cover the costs of the funeral and there was absolutely no need for anyone to be giving her daughter any money.

Secondly, she told Ted to move out of the cottage. Now - this is actually understandable, and it had been left to her in the will, etc. However, she asked him to move out within the week - so he was having pack his stuff up and arrange to move in with relatives whilst also preparing for the funeral!

Thirdly, after Ted had moved out, she wanted to sell the house as soon as possible, so she ignored my father's request to be able to pick a few things up from there (Auntie had held onto a load of old family photos and such from my Grandmother's house after she'd died a few years before), and just threw everything in a skip. EVERYTHING. Including some of Ted's possessions that he'd been foolish enough to hope she'd let him go back later in the week and collect.

This means that my Dad lost lots and lots of his Mum's stuff, as well as older family heirlooms. When he contacted said Relative again and asked her if he could at least have copies of any old photos she'd kept, she told him flatly that it 'was all rubbish' and she'd thrown it away.

Naturally, this drove a rift between the two sides of the family and my Dad didn't speak to her for years...

Until, out of the blue, she phoned him to ask if he'd mind putting her and her daughter up for a weekend so she could attend a party near his home.

He told her to fuck off.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 16:47, 5 replies)

Too right.
I'd have let her stay and raped her daughter.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 16:51, closed)

You dads first cousin surely?
Your Great aunts daughter will be your first cousin once removed.

Soooo your dad's cousin is not a twat, by the sounds of it she is in fact a Grade A, Fucking Cunt.
( Peej, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 16:58, closed)

Ah yeah
I suppose she is his first cousin, and her daughter is my second cousin.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 17:00, closed)

Yup
Twat is his cousin and your cousin one removed because her grandparent is your great grandparent. Twat's daughter is your second cousin because you have the same great grandparent. However most first cousins share one set of great grandparents as well so are technically second cousins too.
( Peej, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 9:59, closed)

I'd have told her she could stay and then pretended not to know her
when she turned up. Getting a hotel at that short notice would be far more hassle for her.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 5:31, closed)