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This is a question Twattery

Nigella Pussycat says: Tell us about utter twats doing remarkably twatty things. Or have you ever done something really twattish to a friend, loved one or pet? In summary: Twats

(, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:30)
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I can kind of forgive this one
because it was twattishness done to a twat.

A couple of years ago there was this slobbish, loudmouthed, lazy prick at work who used to spend most of his time skiving and moaning. He lived for freebies - the only time he ever picked up the phone was to try and get himself invited to parties or lunches with suppliers. We all hated him.

Anyway, one week it was his last Friday in the office before he was off on holiday in the Spain for a week with his girlfriend. He'd been on about this for ages, telling us how it was costing a bomb, but only the best for him, etc. etc. Despite living for freebies, he always liked to give the impression of being loaded, despite the fact he evidently wasn't, and we certainly weren't paying him much.

Anyway. Since it was a nice sunny Friday, the boss offered to take us all out for a few beers on expenses. We decamped to the pub, set up a tab, and proceeded to build up an impressive expense. Twat Boy was also buying drinks for his mate who'd turned up, then got a round of shots in. All of it on the tab. The boss did not look impressed, but said nothing, and let him carry on.

Come 6pm, we're all thoroughly smashed, and the boss stands up to go home. "Right - I better get back or the wife and kill me. No reason for you lot not to carry on though - Twat Boy, give me your card and I'll just ask them to swap it for mine on the tab."

Ashen faced, but not wanting to look like he was bothered, Twat Boy duly handed over his card, whilst the boss headed off home, knowing perfectly well that Twat Boy wouldn't be able to fill out an expense form until he was back from holiday, and was about to head off on his costly romantic week away with a stonking great hole in his bank balance.

It was fucking marvellous...
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:43, 2 replies)
ha ha
I like this, worked with so many of those twat boys.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:46, closed)
Oh that is brilliant.
Brilliant! It had to be multiple clickage. Well played by the boss.
(, Sun 15 Apr 2012, 14:26, closed)

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