I notice that motorway lane etiquette - or the lack thereof - is a recurring topic
Here's my version. Cue wavy lines

I used to drive to and from Leeds for meetings at head office and, on one particularly fine summer's afternoon, when a meeting had finished surprisingly early, I found myself on an almost empty stretch of the M62 (incredible I know) cruising at a comfortable 80-ish mph admiring the fine West Yorkshire scenery.

Unfortunately, this almost Nirvana-like state was shattered by the appearance of a shit-box Citroen AX doing just under 60... in the outside lane.

Now, both inner lanes were empty as far as the eye could see, but Mr Fucknugget and his female passenger obviously liked the colour of lane 3's tarmac, or they were Armco spotters and they showed no intention of moving over into the correct lane(s).

For a couple of minutes I waited patiently behind them - not right up their chuff - but at a distance which meant the driver could clearly see me in his mirrors and, realising he was hindering my progress, move carefully across.

There was, however, a fatal flaw in my plan, inasmuch as Monsieur le Wankbreath was too stupid to use said mirrors. Finally, my patience deserted me and I moved into the middle lane, undertaking the Citroen at about 70 mph, without either gesture or comment, intent on putting my frustration behind me and continuing my journey unimpeded.

Unfortunately, my actions had obviously stimulated Turdface's single brain cell and he believed himself to have been unfairly slighted in the presence of his wo-man. I know this because, for the next ten miles, he drove right on my back bumper with his headlights set on full beam and a murderous look on his poxy, gurning face, only abandoning his pursuit when we reached his exit junction.

At which point my sphincter ceased twitching.

tl;dr - twatty driver drove like a twat.

Length? Ninety-three miles each way.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 13 Apr 2012, 20:13, 8 replies)

what were you doing in the outside lane?
if the road was otherwise empty?
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 1:56, closed)

Trying to overtake the Citroen,
you illiterate person.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 10:43, closed)

Then undertake.
Mr Citroen was clearly in the wrong; and if it just so happened that someone in the inner lane was moving more quickly, so be it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 14:37, closed)

In the end, that's what I did.
But strictly speaking, illegal (yes, so is speeding) and given that he was obviously not paying attention, I was at first reluctant to undertake as he might decide to suddenly pull in if he hadn't seen me. Hence I gave him every chance to be aware of me before I ended up going past.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 19:52, closed)

^My thoughts exactly^

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 14 Apr 2012, 14:35, closed)

I just read this, and your answer in the thread as,
I was speeding on the outside lane of the motorway. I saw a car going slower than me on the inside lane and changed lanes so I was behind him and slowed down. I then got all indignant and undertook him. After that, I drove on the inside lane when the road was empty ahead of me because I can but nobody else should. You are a twat.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 15 Apr 2012, 19:15, closed)

In that case Eden
I suggest you learn to read
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 10:56, closed)

What answer in the thread?
I've only just posted my first reply.

And you've misunderstood...
Slow car in OUTSIDE lane.
I didn't wish to undertake and for him to suddenly realise and take me out because he hadn't seen me, so entered outside lane and waited patiently.
Lost patience, took risk and undertook him.
He reacted badly to this.
The end.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 17 Apr 2012, 19:55, closed)