I have a fair few of these...
Lets us begin.

Second year at college – obligatory foreign trip is arranged. So off we pop to gay Paris, three coachloads of impressionable halfwits.

For the first week we were three blokes in a room (three beds mind you gay Paris or not). As is the way with most studenty affairs the hotel was tres shite. Our room looked straight out onto a brick wall of the equally garlic ridden fleapit next door.

On our last night we found one of those ‘rustic’ little places where they pass off clumps of condemned horsemeat as ‘steak’ to unsuspecting tourists while sneering at our lack of ability to detect the ‘all you could drink wine’ was being pumped from the same abattoir as the horse steaks were sourced.

Nevertheless we managed to get royally battered. We staggered home with our newly acquired ability to speak fluent French and were suddenly Europeans. As my mum often would say, “its all fun and games now but it wont be this in the morning” sage words indeed.

In the morning we were roused from our wanking chariots rudely. Rudely even by French standards. For some odd reason we had slept through the 7.30 deadline to get our gear on the bus.

I cannot recall such a hangover before or since, even my hair hurt – damn those Shergar Steaks – they had clearly ‘reacted’ with the sensible amount of wine I had sipped.

Staggering out of bed bollock naked with a morning lob on I immediately stubbed my toe (not with the lob on). "FirFuckSake! Can somebody switch a fucking light on in" here I rasped.

I flung the ‘quaint‘ wooden shutters open on the window and squinted out into the bright spring sunlight… something was amiss. Some fucker had moved the wall. All I could see was blinding light. A drumming sound and screeching voices filled my throbbing heed – fuck me this really was a bastard of a hangover.

It would seem I had forgotten we had been moved to another room a few days previous. So there I was in all my glory directly across from three coach loads of waiting students battering the windows and cheering wildly. Thank god I still had a semi lob on.

Naturally I got on the bus to a chorus of – “he’s not the messiah he’s a very naughty boy”

!
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 28 May 2009, 15:20, 1 reply)

Wanking chariots
Spot on!
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 28 May 2009, 23:09, closed)