Afternoon delight
It happened every Friday. Between about half five and six in the evening. Just as we were finishing work.

The sales department was on the ground floor, studio's on the first. At the top of the stairs was a window overlooking the side of the house next door. Directly opposite their bathroom window.

The bathroom ritual of our gentleman neighbour went thus:

Open magazine at chosen centrefold and balance on window sill.
Stand in full view of office next door, whilst indulging in "fast washing"

The office ritual went thus:

When noticed, shriek to the entire office "HE'S WANKING AGAIN"
Be joined by approx 15 colleagues, all of whom would run upstairs. One of the sales girls would even get a chair.

Repeat weekly until one gobby northern lass attempted to make contact with the gentleman next door. By shouting through an open window:

"EITHER YOU HAVE FUCKING BIG HANDS OR A FUCKING TINY COCK"

Never saw him again.
(Basilbrush, Thu 28 May 2009, 20:06, Reply)