Not mine
You may wish to hav emindbleach on standby for this one.

'im indoors suffered from a condition when he was younger called hypospadias. Basically, what this means is that instead of the opening of your urethra (or jap's eye for the uncouth amongst you) being on the top, it was on the bottom of his helmet towards the base. Now this meant that since birth, he's had to have a series of operations on his todger to repair this. I shall now relate his story in his own words:

When I was 14, I had to go back to the Freeman (hospital in Newc) for another operation on Frankencock. Now, part of these ops is that quite often after they've finished attacking your cock like a drunk rabbi after Passover, they have to pop in a catheter whilst you heal. 3 days after the op, they whip the catheter out (which is not a warm, comforting experience). They they expect you to have a piss, just to check that everything is still working.

Now, obviously having had my cock out in front of about 60% of the medical fraternity of North East England, I have not got much in the way of shame now, but this incident destroyed a little bit of my soul.

So, catheter out, and I am sent off to have a wee. I shuffle over like a newly-lobotomized zombie and go into one of the bogs (BTW, why are most hospital crappers about the same size as a 1 bed aparment in the West End?)

I'm wearing hospital pyjamas, and me poor old knob is quite tender (not in a good way) so I just pull the bottoms down. It takes a little while to get going, but eventually I start pissing like a Grand National winner. Suddenly, the door to the cubicle bangs open, exposing my arse to half the ward.

It's my mum

"Hello love" she says at embarassing mother volume "Just checking everything is alright. Ooh look...you've got hairs now!"

Mind...bleach....apply liberally.

So that was unexpected nudity for most of ward 4 at the Freeman.

But I can say this...the surgeons did a bloody good job.

No apologies for length or girth, just the line of stitchmarks.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 28 May 2009, 21:37, 1 reply)

Awwww
mothers, eh.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:02, closed)