Peter
My ex co-lodger is an Australian and a pisshead.

Returning home early after an orgy of drunkeness and susbstance abuse, Peter totters home long after everyone else has gone to work.
He walks straight it, forgetting to deactivate the alarm and goes straight to bed.

The alarm goes off, Peter remains in bed
The alarm company ring the house, no answer
The police and the keyholder are called.
The keyholder is the elderly grandmother of the family that owns the house.

The police and Granny enter the house and the police check all the rooms to see what has triggered the alarm and to see if there is anything missing. A worried Policeman then tells Granny that they
'Have found someone upstairs'

Granny then follows the police upstairs where Peter, naked, hungover, vomitcovered and sobbing is being held up by two burly Bromley Policemen.

I have no sympathy for the fucker - on another occassion he pissed all over himself whilst sleeping in my parent's house.
( WormuIus, Fri 29 May 2009, 8:50, Reply)