Naked ping pong
As I mentioned earlier and my long-suffering other half will attest, drunken nudity is a bit of a theme for me. However this time I was not the only cuplrit.

Picture the scene:

Late September, a huge converted farmhouse in Provence complete with pool, girlfriend's Dad's 60th birthday, accommodation food and drink all paid for - only expense about £30 on flights, the entire extended family present. Fan-fucking-tastic!

Liz has two sisters - one older and married, one younger with long-term boyfriend. I get on well with both partners which does occasionally get us into trouble at family gatherings.

It was near the end of our stay. I'd had an utterly brilliant week of wine, cheese, sun etc and had also been fairly well behaved for most of it. We'd had a few heavy ones so this one fateful night we decided to have a quiet one in and play a bit of Cranium.

Fun was had by all and eventually everyone else had headed off to bed. It was just me and the other two partners M and J. At that point someone suggested we play a proper man's game, so we got out the cards and started on the poker. We also found a litre bottle of Bells to go with it. Problem was none of us really wanted to play for money - that was the moment J suggested something much much worse.

"Tell you what boys, how about a bit of strip poker".

Now we were quite tiddly already by this point so this seemed a great idea. As whisky was consumed and hands were played it wasn't long until I was completely starkers mainly due to me being shit at poker even when sober.

I was a bit annoyed at being the only one reduced to this state. But then I lost the next hand.

I had nothing left to take off. Forfeit!

"Right Milo, you have to run outside and do 2 lengths of the pool and then come back". That was M, the married responsible one.

Now I've done the odd skinny dip in my time so this was nothing major. Did it, came back and then the greatest idea in the history of the world occurred to me.

"You know what, we should all go skinny dipping. It'll be hilarious!". Well we were 3 quarters of the way through the whisky now and with a box of wine on top of that they didn't need asking twice. Pretty soon we were all in the pool laughing like a bunch of drunken twats (funny that).

Then we noticed the table tennis table. "Who's up for a bit of naked ping pong?" Score!

Unfortunately noise does tend to travel a bit out in the Provence countryside at night. Especially if you're pissed off your tits and engaged in sporting activity.



Being told off by my potential future father-in-law for being too noisy, the day after his 60th birthday, at 3 in the morning, in France on a holiday he'd paid for, playing round the table with his son-in-law and other potential SiL, while absolutely stark bollock nekkid, was not the proudest moment of my life.

Regarding the extreme homoerotic elements of the situation nothing really needs to be said.


Still it's very likely that J will be going down the aisle before me so I can't wait for the father of the bride speech.
(Milo Minderbinder, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:04, 1 reply)

this is hilarious
/sniggers
/clicks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 29 May 2009, 13:15, closed)