It’ll put you off your dinner, I tell you.
Not too far North of Portland, Oregon, there is a nudist beach. My then girlfriend and I decided, purely for a laugh (ahem) that we should head off there.

Now, you may be thinking 'hang on', you actively chose to go to a nudist beach, how can this possibly involve unexpected nudity, and I would have to concede there would be some logic to that thought, but bear with me.

To get to the beach, you have to wander through some pretty extensive sand dunes, head height pampus grass and rushes either side of you with what amounts to a man made maze through the middle of them created by people finding their own way through.

After about 15 minutes of confused wandering we turned a corner and...well...let me tell you this...

Once you have seen a skinny Latino man taking one up the arse from a hairy backed apeman with a beard while a fat guy in shoes, socks and a hat but nothing else* sits in a striped deckchair happily fwapping like a deranged chimpanzee...you won't ever forget it.

We never did find the beach, and I still think that's probably for the best.




*Really, at what point do you imagine he thought ‘hmm…better put my shoes and socks back on before I start masturbating’?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:02, 1 reply)

Many men have fallen through the sock gap!
I think I'm going to end up clicking these stories, not so much for the ones that make me laugh hardest, but the ones that leave the most outlandishly peculiar and disturbing mental images...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 29 May 2009, 17:15, closed)