Unexpected nudity, you say?
I thought I had gotten my one and only relevant story for the week over and done with already, but fate, it seems, has decided to smite me with memories the strongest mindbleach will have trouble shifting. Unexpected nudity can come at any time, in any form, and blast your retinas from any angle, and the upshot is you may end up going to any lengths to escape from it.

So. Cast your minds back to friday night. Did you enjoy yourself? I certainly did for a while, it was a lovely warm day, the beer was flowing and we had unexpected female company at the pub. Now..... I'm not too good with the ladies, and my mates all seem to have sexual powers that would make Terry Thomas look like an amateur, so I realised quickly that if any bonking was going to happen, the pinnacle of my involvement in it would be being kept awake by the noise, but I accepted this state of affairs long ago and settled in for an amusing evening. The scenery soon changed from the pub to one of the ladies' houses, where the party, as always, gravitated to the kitchen. We're having a right old laugh, the beer is flowing and bugger me if I'm not even talking to one of the girls! Similar college courses and my trademark weird drunken tomfoolery seemed to be pressing the correct buttons, at least enough to keep a friendly chat from turning into a disgusted look (I've learned a lot these past few years). As we stand there in the kitchen, laughing like idiots and drinking like nutters, the talk turns to cock sizes. My friends, for they are idiots, begin to discuss the relative merits of their whopping great ladykilling sausages, and I sort of got bored listening and zoned out of the conversation. A few minutes later, we hear emanating from the hall some insane sounding laughter. I recognise it immediately as my mate, who barrels through the kitchen door wearing only a pair of socks and some boxers. Oh wait, correction, he's taken off the boxers. My other mate also begins an impromtu striptease, but stops short of revealing his todger and quickly redresses, and we all laugh heartilly and make amusing wise cracks.

It was very funny. For about 2 minutes. But it sort of lost it's appeal when my mate then decided he liked being in the nuddy and began holding a conversation with me with his cock-and-ball ensemble flapping around not four feet from my face. Several attempts to make him get dressed failed, and soon enough, he was standing at the top of the stairs, naked as the day he was born apart from a rather fetching pair of black socks, talking to the girls while the rest of us stood in the kitchen slightly pissed off.

I got fed up with the whole situation after about ten minutes and decided to walk the three and a half MILES along a dark country road at THREE IN THE MORNING to get home, rather than listen to conversation, which was becoming gradually more seedy, drifting down the stairs.

I'm not an old prude, but surely I'm not alone in thinking the whole situation a bit strange?

And I know I'm not exactly Brad Pitt, but if one of my mates prancing about in the scud making a complete tool of himself is more appealing than having a chat with me in the kitchen, then I'm thoroughly fucking depressed. I could understand it if I'd been in the buff too, mind.

Women. I'm onto you! You're just as shallow as we are, aren't you?

I made it home in just under an hour. It's the most excersise I've had in years, so I suppose that's something.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sun 31 May 2009, 22:04, 7 replies)

Drink + rational behaviour, dude
They just dont go together.

It has nothing to do with his preference for conversation.

Throw in rampaging testosterone at the prospect of getting into some lady parts and it's no holds barred.

The lad did what he was made to do.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 9:47, closed)

Yer I suppose.
I'm just sick of not getting any if the truth be told :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 23:17, closed)

"Nice guys finish last."
;)
(Guilt wants to get in your moist confines, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 11:48, closed)

I was led to believe
this is the preferred choice of ladies :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 23:16, closed)

It is
If I remember correctly.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 5:09, closed)

Didn't you know?
The only way to enjoy your evening is to get really drunk and do really stupid shit, that you'll regret in the morning.

Then have really crap sex with someone equally drunk.

Should have learned that by now.
(Scritty Bakerman., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 13:31, closed)

*notes*
I shall give this a try :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 23:13, closed)