Chased by a coffin....
This happened a few years ago and it's true!

I left the local pub at about 11pm, got to the top of my road and I could hear a tap tap tap behind me....

Looked back and there was a coffin! I stopped and the coffin was still there....I took one step forward and the copped hopped forward!

I started to run for my life but the bloody coffin was behind me, I reached my front door and managed to open it and shut it before it could get me....

Then the coffin started to knock the door down!

As it crashed through my front door I ran upstairs in terror and hid in the bathroom....

I could hear the coffin hopping up the stairs and looking in all the bedrooms.....

Then it tried the door handle, realising it was locked it started to try and break through the door....I was shitting myself so much my ring was goatse size!

It broke through the door and in my desperation I started to throw things at it....

I was throwing everything I could find, towels, tampons, cotton wool balls, shaving foam and nothing would stop it!

It slowly started hopping towards me and in my desperation I started to throw the contents on the medicine cupboard at it....

Strepsils....no good

Aspirin....no good

And in my desperation I threw a bottle of Benylin at it!

And the coffin stopped.
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:49, 9 replies)

I nearly
spat my lunch out!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:50, closed)

Twat.
*click*
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:52, closed)

lol!
Nice joke - on another note it reminds me of the old Reebok advert - "belly's gonna get yaaa".
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:54, closed)

*click*
v. good!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:10, closed)

eccellente
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:39, closed)

Older than the hills that one...
But it's still a goodie! :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 16:01, closed)

ooo
We have a techie meeting every Tuesday morning, and the bloke whos turn it was to tell a joke this week told the exact same joke...weird
( P, Benny P, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 22:40, closed)

Hooray!
I like this *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Sat 5 Jul 2008, 17:57, closed)

@ The Dirty Weekender:
This advert?

Honest, not goatse, ilovehorses, or The Game.. :P
(AQ, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)