I think you make the mistake......
of thinking that your trouts might actually be straight. Also, they would have to spin like a round leaving a rifle to go dead straight. This would also require your anus to "be rifled" - that is to have a spiral channel dug into your ring that would force the exiting turd to spin.

I think turds are coiled in the exit queue, so I would expect them to come out of centre.

There is a whole weaponary procedure called "aiming off and miss drills" that instruct you how to correct your aim and repeatedly hit the target straight. But without a massive investment into turd based projectiles, and perhaps a laser sight, you sir, are screwed.

I'll keep an eye on my own catering offload in the future.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Wed 9 Jul 2008, 15:52, Reply)