violin
in school, i decided that i would become a musician(and prove my mother wrong). i would have liked to learn to play the piano, but i have what my darling mater refers to as "cow's tit fingers", which pretty much ruled that idea out. my second choice was the drums, but nobody was allowed to go near the music teacher's beloved tina turner drumkit, so that was a no-go, too.
after perusing my timetable, i realised that violin classes coincided with double maths. perfect! i could learn the violin and get out of a double maths lesson! so, on a sunny tuesday afternoon, i trundled off to my first violin lesson.
being young and cocky, i was utterly convinced that i would easily be able to master this lump of tuneful wood in a matter of weeks.
did i bollocks.
i realised, very quickly, that i hated the violin. not as much as i hated maths, but it was a close-run thing. fortunately for me, the violin teacher was more than happy to be paid for sitting in the practice room with me for an hour, chatting about films and smoking out of the window. he was a pretty cool teacher.
2 years later, i failed my maths GCSE and abandoned my violin lessons. after all that time, i could just about play little brown jug. badly.
the best bit of it all was the violin, which the school had given to me as they'd just received some form of grant for a shitload of new musical instruments. i was informed by the music teacher that my violin was pretty much worthless.
turns out it was worth £120.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 19:43, 4 replies)

love the punchline
do people still say 'I'm loving the' instead of 'I love the'?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:42, closed)

no idea
but i have a sudden urge for mcdonald's
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 20:47, closed)

£120
is pretty much worthless for a violin :P
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sat 26 Jun 2010, 12:00, closed)

not when you're 16 and skint

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 26 Jun 2010, 15:19, closed)