one more, a teacher one, except totally true, and you heard it here first
my teacher friend rang me from the school where she worked the day this happened. She's since heard it told back to herself by someone she didn't know.

One day, she was teaching her class as usual, when one of the children asked to use the loo. Being a practical type not wanting to clean up pee, she said yes. A bit later on, he asked again. Ok, she said. Then he asked again. She said ok, but made a mental note to ask him if he was feeling ok before letting him out to lunch. The kid says he's fine, and went off into the playground after getting his coat. On playground duty, she noticed a huge group of children huddled in one section of the playground. This is odd, she thought, and went over. In typical child fashion, they all scarpered, leaving just the incontinent-seeming kid on his own, clutching a plastic bag.
"What's in the bag?" she asked.
"Nothing Miss" said the kid.
Then the bag started moving. My friend had dealt with stuff like this before.
"Now, you know you can't take the class hamster out of the cage. Give it back."
She took the bag off the kid and looked inside. She went into the classroom and used the phone to call the RSPCA and the child's mother.
Turned out this idiot child had apparently climbed a tree in his garden and stolen two baby birds, which actually turned out to be some kind of bird of prey, and my teacher friend learnt from the RSPB via the RSCPA it was quite a rare one. He'd been running out inot the cloakroom to check on them every time he'd been asking to pee...
Worse still, these two birds had been in his bag for THREE DAYS, and one had corked it. He'd been stuffing his pockets full of worms for these days, but of course the chicks couldn't eat them, so were starving.

I have heard this story since too, told to me by an aquaintance who claimed it as her own. Problem was, I've met the kid, and the teacher, so if you ever hear it it, it happened in South West London, and it's TRUE.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 6 Jan 2006, 15:01, Reply)