Spring heeled Jack
Imagine the scene:

A young lad, Leeds. Father looks like the Yorkshire Ripper, Mother more like Neil Diamond.

Jack Fulton, Arndale Centre (Headingley, Leeds) advertises it's spring sale with "Jack's Back" "Spring-heeled Jack" and "Jack slashes prices" and other such guff as shouldn't be mentioned by a shop backing onto a site where Peter Sutcliffe left one of his victims.

I say 'apparently' advisedly.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 14:27, Reply)

ah yes
something about my mum, a cup of tea + biscuits, headphones, closed eyes and shuffling knuckles :-\


....and my ice cream van





{edit}- and some chilli
.
(Xyphious : Sinkin' Gin since '85, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 14:07, Reply)

I like this qotw
I have a few. A very popular Australian urban legend is if Aborigines break into your house the police tell you to throw out your toothbrushes because they stick the bristle end up their bums to get back at the white fellas.

Not sure about this one but I was told if you press your finger in hard just behind your scrotum - between the scrotum and arse actually, and you press hard on the vessels you can feel that will stop you blowing too early. Well I do it repeatedly when I am driving to prostitutes houses. Seems to work for me.


A school one - Peter Greenham had greenish/grey revolting teeth because he sucked off his parents greyhounds repeatedly.

One I made up for my mother who is one of the worlds biggest homophobes - We saw the shorts for Braveheart at the cinemas and I said of Mel Gibsons character when he had the face paint on "you know he was a raging homo". She was almost lynched by the Scots at work the next day.
(rodgerroop, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:38, Reply)

one of mine
I convinced a friend that smoking feels good after a meal cos it activates the blood flow around your body to bring it back down to a relaxed state. It might have some element of truth in it...

Common ones that many people seem to believe:

Certain shampoos make your hair 80% stronger. You see the wankers on the adverts pulling their hair and it doesn't break or come out? Well, shit, neither does mine even if I use own-brand shampoo.

Razor blades that leave your skin smoother than others cos they have 3 or more blades. Well, big fucking deal. It doesn't stop your hair growing back and being noticeable again within a few hours.
(OnionTerror is a bag full of sick, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:33, Reply)

three drains
has anyone else been told that it's bad luck to step on those three-in-a-row drain covers on the pavement? and if you do, you've got to spin round three times to counteract it.

it's nonsense of course, but once you start avoiding them you can't stop.

thing is, a mate of mine once pushed another mate onto a three drain when they were drunk. he was so desperate to get off them that he jumped into the road and almost got hit by a car.

was it the curse? or just drunken stupidity?
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:26, Reply)

Truth or lie?
I had a fun game with my last housemate called "truth or lie" (I believe it was subsequently stolen by Radio 1.

The Idea is to come up with a tale which sounds like it just might be true and see how many people you can make fall for it.

Past attempts have included:
Robbie Williams has (bad) AIDS (shame...)

Always make ice cubes with water from the bathroom as it comes from further underground and is therefore colder (caught my friend actually doing this ha ha!)

Or (stolen from Shaun of the Dead) managed to convince a friend that dogs can't look up

Try it; it's fun.
(Bearos, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:19, Reply)

Campino
M boyfriend managed, after a few hours of going on about it, to pursuade me that campinos contained a small amount of cocaine in the same way shandy contains small amounts of booze.

I'm a trusting fool
(voog, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:17, Reply)

The swimming pool that my school went to
employed a rather severly dissabled young man as a handy man, he walked all funny, wavey arms & talked funny.
The urgan legend was that he had been fine until he fell down the concrete steps the lead to the changing rooms, which caused him to turn into a spastic.
Everyone used to be very careful about going up and down them after they knew that.
Another urban legend at the same place was that a man had done a belly flop off the top diving board once and ripped all the skin off his chest.
(ryushi, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 13:16, Reply)

I can't believe
I've fallen for so many of these over the years.

Damn I'm gullible.

And made entirely of nougat.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 12:56, Reply)

Bloody Nuisence
I can't walk into a blimmin' bathroom without looking sideways at the mirror so that bloody mary/candyman/devil whatever wouldn't get me. It's blatantly a load of old cobblers but i wouldn't try it.

I reckon if Red Bull contained bull semen it'd be loads more expensive (if that's possible)
(chili_kitten Cheese, peas and honey bees, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 12:47, Reply)

guiness + girlfriend
my girlfriend told me she believed me when I said that drinking Guiness made your poo come out black with a white head on it...

...but I think she just said she believed it to see if I believed she was that stupid. the games girls play.

anyway, I once believed my friend when he said that Dale Winton was married to a woman. and I wasn't even drunk or stoned at the time...
( yes yes yes man oi mate, someone's writtten 'bum' on your neck, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 12:45, Reply)

Known as gullible
Yarr I tend to fall for anything too easy. Urban legends are one of the things I've taken seriously far too much only to be humiliated in finding out truths. Friends of mine tend to make up their own stories which I fall for though. Like for example, just the other week, a mate in uni told me the deadline for coursework had been moved forward so it was very near. I believed him and damn nearly soiled myself...
Urban legends... erm... that one about the ghost in 3 Men and a Baby. It's obviously now not a ghost but just a cutout that was left there... surely it is, because if it's not I'm scared.
(Mart'n has managed to not be obscene since, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 11:50, Reply)

I'm the most gullible person I know
Seriously. I have an easily moulded mind, and a fear of everything, so it's really easy to get me.

Age: er... young. About 4ish. My dad told me that if you step on the cracks in the pavement, or on the lines between slabs that you will kill all the little creatures living in the cracks, and then their families from other cracks will come and get you while you're asleep. I'm 21 and I still catch myself avoiding the cracks because of my dad and his Godfather style bugs.

Age- about 15ish.- Coca Cola contains urine, due to the high turnover of staff in their factories, and people getting pissed off at being fired. Still don't drink it that often now, which is probably a good thing.

Age- 18- Red Bull contains bull semen- taurine. Still not sure if this is true or not, but I do know drinking 14 of the bastards keeps you awake for hours.



I'm not counting the little daily things that happen (due to living in a shared house of evil, evil, evil men). But I did bodily move my friend a few days ago because he touched a lightbulb then threatened to put his hand in with the washing up.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 11:39, Reply)

His name was Stusut77
A friend of a friend of the granny of a man down the pub once told me an urban legend about a long-lost relative of his who had committed a vile offence so heinous that his soul was sucked into a machine (it was either a spinning jenny or a 486, I can’t recall which). Now this poor soul's spirit is doomed to wander the echoing wires of the world uttering profane depravities in a bid to spit out the black filth of his mind. It is reminiscent of the Sandman legend in that, if you chant his name 69 times quickly into a mirror, bad things will happen. In this case, the bad thing is that you'll splutter spittle on your mirror. Today, according to the friend of a friend of the granny of a man down the pub, the lost one is apparently locked in a febrile, electronic coupling with an entity known as He Who Has No Legs, their strange words blending in a hymn to madness on certain arcane messageboards of the doomed. As for this creature's original offence, my source went strangely quiet. Apparently it has to do with a shameful and grotesque act committed in the mists of time on a beloved pet. A Flemish wolfhound it was and it used to guard the family's collection of antique, corrugated codpieces, It did not survive its ordeal.

The only other clue my drunken chatterbox had been able to glean was that the poor beast was called … Jimmynudge.

Don’t believe a word of it myself.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 11:26, Reply)

King Dump
If this doesn’t count as an urban myth, I don’t know what does. I went to NYC last year for a mate’s 30th birthday, whose name we'll say is Simon (as it is). Anyway we are out the day after his birthday taking in the sights and we decide to do an evening run of the Empire State building. So it’s about midnight and the five of us are up the top taking in the view, when Si comes over and says, “where’s the toilet?” I give him rough directions and think nothing more of it. He comes back about five minutes later, saying the bogs are out of order, do you mind if we make a move. I gather up the troops after another ten minutes or so and we head back down. If you have been in those elevators, you’ll know their quick and gravity defying. We go down ten floors; out he goes looking for a bog, but no luck, then its eighty floors at breakneck speed. On reaching the bottom floor, he sprints for the nearest bar (the one at the Empire State entrance). As I enter the bar, imagine the scene I am greeted by. Si is behind the bar of this pub (the bit where the bar lifts up), the barman is asking him what he is doing and he is going “I have fucking shat myself”. I look down and between his legs is a cowpat size pile of shit, he is shouting what am I going to do, our response is run. Off he hobbles, holding his ass cheeks as he does a runner to our hotel, supported by his missus. Fuck me, I couldn’t run if I tried, all I could do was roll around in hysterics, while this barman shook his fist at us. Back home, everyone knew within hours, humiliated, only chance is if someone shits themselves in a more well known building. Fat fucking chance!!!!
(heimihenderson2005, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 11:16, Reply)

Kraut suicide?
I remember reading a snippet in the paper 8 or 9 years ago about a suicidal german who walked into the forest during hunting season wearing nothing but a sasquatch costume.
(fannyface, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 10:42, Reply)

i told my..
brother that traffic lights with the sensors on top actually are perriscopes for evil midgets who hid underground and turned the lights red when you were coming

girlfriend that pease pottage (town in sussex) was a collection of pottages. pottages are small houses which are round in shape, and have no roof, but a large porch - hence look like a pot. they are now so rare in this country (due to the fact they are able to keep out the wind, but not the rain) that the only surviving collection is in pease pottage.. they are however quite common in africa

she believed me :)
(5lab, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 9:44, Reply)

Legless I - about the overzealous dentist...
...not sure if we're talking about the same one, but do I know of one from personal experience. Even I find it difficult to believe now but this is no bullshit, I swear on my life.

When I was 18 or so, I visited a dentist near to where we were living at the time* thinking one of my wisdom teeth was playing up. He sent me away with antibiotics for a week and when I came back he took not one, not two, but fucking three of my wisdom teeth - UNDER LOCAL ANAESTHETIC. I only learned years later that this was definitely not the done thing. I was just starting to slip into shock** when he had finished and the fucker showed them to me, informing me that he was going to sell them to the dental school. I was too fucked-up by this time to speak, let alone give him the beating he deserved. As I went back into the waiting room, one bloke there took one look at me and made straight for the door - had I been capable, I'd have told everyone else to do the same. I remember there was a little girl there with her mum too, thinking back - fuck me :|

My mum had come with me, initially against my wishes, but I'm glad she did as she damn-near carried me home. We passed by my brother's place on the way where he saw us through the window and came bounding out to us with a face like thunder - 'Who the fuck did that to him?' - he thought I'd been beaten up.

Suffice to say I never set foot in there again, but noticed as I passed a year or so later that the place had been boarded up. Good fucking riddance.

AFTERTHOUGHT: Hey, does that mean I star in my very own urban legend then? Cool :)

* St Helens Junction, for reference - just let the cunt try to sue me, assuming he hasn't been struck off by now - if I ever get within reach of him again I'm going to make sure he can never wrap his hands around one of those hook-type implements again. Shady fucker.
** And yes, I knew how that felt enough to recognise it even then, more's the pity. Life's been a fucker to me at times, but there's a balance of good stuff too so I'm not bitter. Vengeful in some cases perhaps, but not bitter :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 9:35, Reply)

It'll give you the cancer!
A few things that'll give you cancer (off the top of my head, completely unchecked against Snopes):

TVs, microwaves, computers, cell phones - the radiation fries your brains

Bras - they reshape breasts in an "unnatural" way

Razors - I'm guessing they mean the little white strip thingy, but I'm not sure

Red M&Ms - the red dye is radioactive/poisonous

Dust from 9/11 - full of asbestos and other unsafe things (I think that's actually true)

Twinkies and other processed snacks - who knows what's in thoes things
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 8:21, Reply)

KKK
No, it's not, neither is KFC:

www.snopes.com/business/alliance/

Another common false belief is that there is such an organisation as "the KKK". There isn't; there are a large number of unrelated organisations that try and give the false impression of being 'the' KKK, and of being descended from one of the several unrelated Ku Klax Klans in American history.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ku_Klux_Klan
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 7:32, Reply)

would anyone mind confirming or denying
malboro's involvement with the KKK?

Cheers.
(well its not going to suck itself yadda yadda yadda, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 6:54, Reply)

Google
If you type Google into google search all you get is feedback
See
www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&safe=off&q=google&btnG=Search&meta=
( Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 0:47, Reply)

Disney Porn
Wasnt there a release of "The Rescuers" in which some wag in the animation centre had included a naked picture of a woman in one of the windows as they fly past it?

Dont think I know of any "Family Films" which had sex in them though.
(Kurashima, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 0:23, Reply)

Canary Wharf Legend
I got a job at Canary Wharf and my friend asked me what is under the pyramid on the top of the tower. I told her there is a dry ice machine which creates mist to make the building look more impressive. After a couple of weeks she phoned me and said "That's not true!". So I said yes, you're right, to be honest the secret is that we have a helicopter pad and the pyramid opens up to let the helicopter out. We're not supposed to tell anyone for security reasons.

I wasn't sure she believed me but a few weeks later a friend of a friend of a friend of hers who I had never met before asked me where I worked. "Canary Wharf" I said. "Wow", he said, "Is it true there's a secret helicopter pad under the pyramid?".

But I'm not going to tell you what's really under the pyramid.... and you're wondering now, right?
(Darth Spin, Tue 10 Jan 2006, 0:18, Reply)

My lil' brother...
My little brother is two years younger than me, and we were once in bathroom when i was about 12ish, messing about with the bathroom cleaners, toothpaste etc. When my brother started playing wth my dads quite expensive aftershave...it was then i saw my opportunity, to ruin all belief he would ever have in me as a big bro. I told him that if my dad found out he had been playing with the grown ups things he would get into some major trouble. So i told him whenever you think you have done something naughty you should piss on your hands and then wash them in the toilet (because grown ups can smell naughtiness, obviously) he actually thanked me and went on to piss on his own hands and wash them in the bog. I never laughed so hard in my childish little life. When he flushed the loo and washed his hands in the foam was the best. I think he did it a couple of times after that. After playing with matches and having a puff on a fag.

Not really an urban myth but i thought it would be a nice story to tell.
(PieEater, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 23:27, Reply)

Also
I've never been sure of the number of testicles that Adolf Hitler had.

But I'm pretty certain that the Albert Hall doesn't own such a historical monument.
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 22:51, Reply)

woof....BOOM
The dog in the microwave one...

Still haven't bothered to check the authenticity of that one.
(nearlythere listens to Pure Reason Revolution, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 22:48, Reply)

Tainted Love...
1980/1-ish...

Marc Almond was rushed to hospital to have his stomach pumped. It was full to bursting point of semen.

A few years later it was "confirmed" as dog/sheep (delete as applicable) semen. In my early teen years this didn't seem any less surprising than the man-milk tale.

Length/girth..ask the dog or sheep..
(nearlythere listens to Pure Reason Revolution, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 22:45, Reply)

Still not sure
Is the fold of skin on your elbow really called the 'wenis' or not?

It's irritated me for a long time.
(I'm Owen McLove, I could have you killed., Mon 9 Jan 2006, 22:25, Reply)

Sorry if its been done already
I started a rumour in July 1969 that someone had walked on the moon i turned my back for five mins and all hell had broken loose !



Apologies for lenght(lack off) smell and that wierd colour too........Ahem
(Factorypilot This,Now,Before,After, Mon 9 Jan 2006, 22:01, Reply)