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This is a question Utterly Drunk

Now is your chance to warn others of the dangers of drinking to excess. On the other hand, what hilarious japes did you get up to while shitfaced?

Thanks to Battered for the suggestion

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 11:55)
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Almost Asphyxiation
Years ago, out on the piss one night in Hobart, with my housemates Enormous Bruce and Little Joe. We had more than a skinful, smoked a million ciggies, spent all but a few coins, sun was rising over the horizon, so time to stumble home.

We made the traditional stop into Charlie Brown’s hotdog house for some lip’n’arsehole hotdogs in a pulpy white roll. Standing on the footpath, swaying in the non-existent breeze, dutifully scarfing down our hotdogs, then continue to ride the beer taxi home.

Once home, the lads passed out in their respective bedrooms, but I felt the need to chunder, so made my way to the bathroom.

Now, I find vomiting into a toilet somewhat crass, especially in a sharehouse full of blokes (too much bark painting), so I leaned over the (relatively) clean bath and made ready to regurgitate everywhere, with intent to sluice it down the plughole with some water.

After a few false starts and a lot of drooling, there was a familar heave of the stomach, a large lump arose in my throat... and there it stayed.

Fuck!!! Can’t breathe!! Choking!!

Reeling around the tiny bathroom, going purple in the face, gagging with panic, I was fucking choking on something big and solid. With one final throat tearing blurrrghh, out it came. I sucked in beautiful cool air...and I couldn’t believe what I saw.

In a pool of bile, at the bottom of the bath was a perfectly intact hotdog, the sausage was even still in the roll. How the fuck I managed to eat it, let alone bring it back up (and not die), still has me buggered to this day.

Anyway, I was so impressed, I immediately roused the other to come and admire my glutton/regurgitation skills, but um...they didn’t really seem that enthused. So, I carried it outside, and fed it to the fat greedy Labrador next door, then fell asleep on the lawn.
(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 10:46, 7 replies)
I'm not quite sure how to break this to you, but ...
you may be turning into a snake
(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 10:48, closed)
I'll stick to raw eggs next time.

(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 10:54, closed)
"has me buggered to this day"
I think you might have answered your own question there.
(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 11:21, closed)

(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 11:33, closed)
Needs more Toyota
(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 11:50, closed)
Imagine the scene
when the labrador shit the hotdog out whole.
(, Mon 18 Feb 2013, 23:58, closed)
And then Charlie Brown collects it to sell on.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 9:29, closed)

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